xans

xans @ 2025-03-28T08:21:00

2025-03-27T19:22:54Z

I made myself sad yesterday.

I'm currently rereading The Masterharper of Pern, and it got me thinking about how long it's been since I fancast my dream roles for various characters if they made an adaptation of the Dragonriders of Pern. My mental picture of Robinton has always been something a bit like Sam Elliott, but he doesn't have the right voice to me.

And I thought, if they were making a show right now, who would I most want playing Robinton as a musical genius with an amazing vocal range? If he were still alive... Freddie Mercury. And I just... every now and then I think about all the music we never got from him and what the last 30 years could have been like with his continued influence.

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New icon

2025-03-11T20:18:27Z

After many years of the same, I have given my icon a makeover on all my scomed profiles.

Once upon a time I had a first daydream mary-sue self insert character who was a part of the Star Wars universe. She was a red-head named Fox and would learn to be a jedi alongside Luke. (I had never heard of Mara Jade at that point).

Lego minifigs are a lot more customisable these days and my initial fig to represent her wasn't entirely satisfactory, so I finially bought the pieces to make her right. When I looked into resizing the file to upload onto Ao3, I discovered options to stylize the image like a painting or drawing and went for that, too.

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xans @ 2024-10-30T15:29:00

2024-10-30T02:35:58Z

Phone call from school today, the teacher just wanted to check in and let me know how kiddo is settling in. It's been going well. He really liked the game they played today just before pick up time, where they catch a ball and chase-tickle each other. Apparently he's been joining in on the activities and school work.

I am pleased that full days are not exhausting him, as we thought he was more than capable. From home all indicators are that he's enjoying himself and looking forward to school. So that's good.

Tomorrow is Halloween and I'm crossing fingers that this rain has cleared up and I will have a fine sunny day to set up decorations and hand out treats.

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xans @ 2024-05-04T17:19:00

2024-05-04T05:34:47Z

So, I've spent the last week feeling kinda lost. I'm mostly got a routine down to keep up on housework. School has started back up for the term and things seem to be going smoothly for kiddo. I finished the book series I was rereading, steuggled to find a new one to commit to, and I found my games were kind of boring me.

I need a project.

Two things I should do is seriously look into a part-time job, and driving lessons. I've been putting it off for years and years, because ughhhh anxiety, and it is holding me back, really. Someone give me the motivation to get it done.

Then yesterday I also kind of stumbled into a short term project. A promotional email from a local company showed me they are going to hold an event at a nearby venue next school holidays. Last year, they even has a special sensory session which had been great to take kiddo along to. But when I looked at their page, there did not appear to be a repeat of that happening. So, I reached out and asked.

Turns out, last year's event had only sold 9 tickets, which was not nearly enough to cover the cost of the venue and staff. So, totally valid that they're leery of doing that again. But they said to me if they ran it for only an hour on one day and limited it to 30 tickets, they might be able to do it again. But, need to know that those numbers of definite sales are out there.

So, I might make some enquiries on the community page, and failing that, it might be too short notice for this year, but seeing if any businesses or organisations might sponsor a future event might be somethjng to look into. I have never done that before, but there's an organisation that occasionally sends me invites for sponsored events forfamilies with special needs children, so I might ask them how those are brought together.

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Just existing

2024-03-12T23:27:28Z

I've been in a bit of a weird limbo lately. I'm not overly active in any particular fandom, I haven't been reading a lot of fanfic or watching/rewatching any shows that make me want to write reaction posts about and engage with others watching it too. I'm still low-key obsessed with Moon Knight, but like, I'm very particular about what I want to consume in that fandom and also weirdly antisocial about it. I think there's a couple other fandom discords that exist that I'd like to be a part of, but I'm too chickenshit to ask for an invite.

I also haven't been strongly drawn into any new shows (we're kinda sorta watching Hanna, Halo, and the live-action ATLA but I'll forget to put them on a lot).

Currently I'm reading the Pegasus serirs by Kate O'Hearn, which is not bad YA stuff, although... like, I asked my husband what he thought of the ATLA show that we've watched so far, and he said it was ok, but also kind of weird how it seemed to fluctuate between corny/cheesy and then rather violent for something with YA protagonists. And this book series I feel kind of the same.

I seem to be keeping anxiety at bay, though there was a week there not long after the school year started I thought things were going to set me off again, but we're handling it.

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Comments are love

2023-12-27T21:13:12Z

I got a comment on a fic published on Ao3 in 2013 that I originally wrote and posted on lj and cross-posted to ff.net back in 2007. Someone not only remembered reading my fic years ago, they were delighted to find it again.

That has made my day and is reminder to me that I should try to comment on fics when I read them. I've been hit or miss about that. Probably a weird brain thing, but I often find the less comments and kudos a fic has, the more inclined I am to give it some love. Same with older fics.

Anyway, I've not written anything in years, but it pleases me that something I wrote entertains people still.

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Still alive

2021-05-22T03:18:19Z

Whoops in not updating this thing since, uhh... 2018. I suppose it's because I'm kept active enough between rl and my other socials. Well I've remembered my login for here. As a back up. Just in case any of those implode.

I need some more active ppl on here to follow to remind me to check this place.

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Mere kirihimete

2018-12-26T08:30:27Z

Merry Christmas, happy holidays, etc.

Lot of busy-ness around here atm. My mum & step-dad came over from the states. Christmas Eve we had them, plus my brother, S-i-L & nephew spend the night so we could spend Christmas Day together.

I shelled out a bucketload of money on a new phone that was on sale until the end of Christmas Eve. Didn't even get free time to open and figure it out until last night. I really should get a case for it because I'd hate to drop and crack it.

Anyway, Christmas Day itself was nice. My mum was hustling me in the morning to get to the opening presents stage. The boy still has half a dozen unopened presents as he mostly stuck to emoting his "stocking" (it's more of a sack), although my brother also opened his present for the boy because it was a book about construction vehicles that made noises and kept him from stealing his cousin's noisy dino book.

My mum also offloaded some jewellery and knickknacks that weren't part of the Christmas haul. And they picked us up a small bottle of Johnny walker blue label from the duty free shop. Damn that was smooth. Between that, my husband buying Jack Daniel's and receiving a selection of beers as his Christmas work bonus, not to mention the wine and cider we picked up from the supermarket, I've had as much alcohol in the last four days as I've had all year.

The meal itself was great. We were going to pick up a pavlova from the supermarket but we couldn't find any, and I was unimpressed at the mini meringue baskets. For the price they were, I was certain I could make nicer from scratch. So I ended up trying my hand at making pavlova for the very first time. Instead of a single big one I did six smaller ones. Once they were done, my husband put a leg of lamb in to roast, plus a tray of pumpkin, kumara, carrot & potatoes. We had an old salad I was going to top up until I saw how sad it was and just made a fresh one. We had a small ham, but my brother got given a massive one as his Christmas bonus so we traded and dished some of that one up instead. Also had a fresh crust Vienna loaf from the supermarket. The pavs turned out fantastic, served up with whipped cream, blueberries and strawberries. Also had some homemade berry tarts I made. So much good food.

My brother, S-i-L & nephew went home that evening. Boxing Day (today) my husband had to work, when it would normally be his weekend. He has tomorrow off, and then next week he's getting tues-wed as a three day weekend. Around lunchtime we walked down to town with my mum & step-dad and found the Shoreline Cinema was the only cafe open, but they spotted me a coffee and cake for lunch before they caught the bus-replacing-trains to Wellington. Munchkin thought he was gonna get to wait at the station and watch trains and I ended up chatting to these ladies that had come up from Wellington and we're waiting for their ride, they gave me an ice cream bar because they had a box of them and they were going to melt.

One of the ladies worked with special needs kids so she was asking some q's about the boy and then she got embarrassed when she asked if I was pregnant with no. 2 and I was like, "no, I'm just fat." Anyway, after they left I tried to persuade the boy we needed to get a move on and it was a big tanty dragging him away from the platform.

Got home and I think the heat plus so much sweet food got to me as I felt kind of ill. Ended up dozing on the couch with a bowl nearby in case I puked. Drank water all afternoon and peed a lot, and was a bit gassy but didn't throw up. The boy was good and played in another room with his tablet until the battery died so I didn't have to exert much energy. Felt better by evening and have had a good dinner of leftovers.

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xans @ 2018-12-10T19:32:00

2018-12-10T06:54:07Z

Apparently intro posts are the thing to be doing atm? So, hmmm... If you're new, just getting to know me, I guess I can make a post with the basics.

Hi, I'm Hana. I'm 33, married, with one kid and a cat. I've been online in various fandoms since I was 14.

Started out in geocities/yahoo chatrooms, making friends with other LotR fans and finding a geeky corner to hangout. Was one of the youngest there. One of the other teenage girls that frequented there introduced me to *NSYNC RPF fanfic, and that's where I started.

Read a lot of LotR fanfic on ff.net, stumbled across some slash sites that were both LotR & LotR RPF, the latter of which I was less into. Made friends on a LotR fan site/message board that transferred over to livejournal. Covered a few fandoms on lj, including Harry Potter, House, Bones, Firefly, Heroes, Constantine, and Stargate/Atlantis. Made friends with my love of the Vampire Chronicles, Dragonriders of Pern, also to some degree the Wheel of Time and *cringe* Sword of Truth.

Have wandered through a few others over the years on Ao3 & tumblr, such as Generation Kill, The Mummy, The Eagle/Eagle of the Ninth, The Fast & the Furious.

And of course there's the MCU. I'm sort of distanced myself from MCU a little bit (but not completely), mainly because I worry I'll have what happened with my love of HP: I consumed so much fic and spent so much time tearing the world apart that the canon no longer measured up (confession: I have never read Deathly Hallows. I fell out of love after HBP and never finished the series). I'm still hanging around the fringes and have a super soft spot for the Bucky/Logan rarepair.

I am, at heart, a multi-fandom multi-shipper, so while I have ships I love, I'm not necessarily locked down in an OTP.

A few other shows/movies I love that I don't tend to seek fic out are Killing Eve, Star Wars, Star Trek, Farscape, Babylon 5, Band of Brothers, and I could be here for hours if I started going through them all. I have dinner waiting, so I won't. This post is a good starting point, though, right?

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Houston, we have spotting

2018-12-09T08:46:32Z

I did think just to spite me, my period would arrive in the middle of commuting to the eye appointment. But no, I have started tonight, thank goodness.

My husband is home from work with a minor injury, so I don't have to stress about catching trains because he can drive us there. I mean, it sucks that he's in pain and needs to see the doctor (which is the thing that gives him major anxiety), but I'm relieved that it means I don't have to take the boy, alone, on a commuter train to a dreaded eye appointment.

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xans @ 2018-12-08T14:33:00

2018-12-08T01:41:16Z

The longer I have PMS symptoms without the appearance of my actual period, the more my anxiety spikes.

Added to that, I have an appointment for my son on Monday at 8:30 in the morning that is ~90 min commute between walking and train trip. Naturally, I'm paranoid I'm gonna oversleep, he's gonna sleep in, we're not going to get out the door on time and we'll miss it.

I cannot let it make me lose sleep though. Maybe if I make sure to set my alarm for, like, 6 am on the day I will have an hour to get us fed, dressed, and out the door, and he won't freak out at the change of routine...

But, ugh.

I know pms is making me a moody bitch, but the dropping of the A4 trailer and subsequent fan responses on my tumblr & twitter timelines is not filling me with excitement, either. Trying to keep the majority of my bitching in private though.

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xans @ 2018-12-04T11:10:00

2018-12-03T22:14:28Z

In light of the tumblr fuckery, I may look at making my personal posts over here again as well. I'm not planning to leave there until their lights are out, but without a pillowfort or discord account, I'm looking at Twitter, ao3, and possibly even dreamwidth to keep my fandom stuff active.

So anyway, hi if you found me from posting my info on tumblr or the fandom spreadsheet.

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Whoops

2018-01-31T03:33:57Z

My last post is from two years ago. Remember when I used to write almost every day? Then I let Twitter and tumblr take over my life. Anyway.

Have set up a community for a wee book discussion club. The Vampire Chronicles Book Club (Look at me, remembering my html).

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xans @ 2015-12-08T08:22:00

2015-12-07T19:23:07Z

Well this is a first. I'm actually online during a twitter outage. Or is it just me?

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xans @ 2015-12-02T21:43:00

2015-12-02T08:45:07Z

I posted these in a bit of a rush last night, I suppose I ought to add a header for fandom and stuff.

Title: 89. Through the Fire.
Fandom/Pairing: Stargate SG-1 | Sam Carter/Ba'al
Rating: G
Warnings/Notes: No warnings. Just a drabble ficlet written to a prompt over an baalsamgate.tumblr.com.

“Quickly! This way.”

“What? Are you insane?” Sam asked, aghast at her companion.

Ba’al turned to face her. One cheek was smudged with a mix of blood and dirt, his normally impeccable outfit was rumpled and showing signs of hard wear–which was no wonder, given when she found him, he was nearly being cornered by one of the groups of Ori troops unexpectedly encountered on this planet. Why she’d decided to help him, well, it didn’t matter since they were currently trapped between approaching troops and a wildfire.

“Colonel Carter, I assure you, I do not intend us to die here. We cannot return to the town. There is not enough time to repair my ship, which will be crawling with Ori forces. We must get to the gate, which is that way,” he pointed. Ba’al looked surprisingly genuine with his uses of ‘us’ and ‘we’.

“Which is also on fire,” Sam grated out, “and last I checked, not even Goa’uld are fireproof.”

His eyebrow quirked in brief acknowledgement of his species’ many boastful claims and his mouth opened, perhaps to deliver some cutting remark, before they both heard the telltale crunch of boots on the ground some distance behind them. Instinctively, they hunkered down in the hopes of delaying the inevitable.

Ba’al stared at her in earnest. “Colonel Carter–Sam–there is a way. Trust me.”

Sam couldn’t repress her snort of disbelief. “Trust you? Never. But if you’re certain–”

“I am.”

She closed her eyes as she bowed her head. Took a deep breath. Let it out. Opened her eyes and returned to looking at him. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

He pushed himself up from crouching before offering his hand to help her up. The naquadah in her blood had been tingling since moments before she’s realised her proximity to him, but it surged at contact with his hand. Sam went to pull her hand free once she had her balance, but he tightened his grip, seemingly unaware of the effect.

“When I say ‘run’, we must head directly for the gate,” he said, “run and do not stop for anything.”

Sam looked at the path ahead of them, flames licking across the ground and clinging to trees. “We’re not going to die,” she said uncertainly.

“We are not going to die,” he echoed. Sam wished she shared his confidence.

There was a shout behind them. “Run,” Ba’al ordered, and they were off like a shot, headed directly towards the flames.

Their boots pounded on the ground as they sprinted side by side. Sam felt the skin of her face flushing at the heat as they approached the trees engulfed in fire. Then they were surrounded on all sides, the path smoking beneath them, the crackle and pops of the trees overpowering any sounds of pursuit behind them.

Sam felt her eyes stinging and her airways clogging from the smoke, but she gritted her teeth and maintained her pacing next to Ba’al. She nearly gasped when there was an almighty crack and a tree fell across their path several meters ahead.

“Do. Not. Stop!” Ba’al growled.

She would not stop. She could not stop. Gathering themselves, the pair altered their steps in time to leap over the burning log, the flames swirling about their legs, the heat nearly intolerable before they were over, and carrying on down the path. The naquadah in her veins served to help her sense not only the Goa’uld beside her, but her proximity to the Stargate. It was less than 200 yards away.

It became visible at 100 yards. The flames started to die down to be replaced by smouldering stumps, opening out into the clearing where the gate stood, exposed and unguarded. They slowed to a stop at the base of the steps, next to the DHD. A quick once over to check Ba’al, Sam was astonished they’d actually made it, relatively unscathed. A slightly hysterical laugh burst out, before she was overcome by a coughing fit.

“Here,” he pressed a flask into her hands. Sam quickly unscrewed the cap, raising it to her lips, then pausing. She regarded it suspiciously, while trying to suppress the coughs. “It’s mint tea,” he clarified, rolling his eyes.

With a twinge of guilt, she quickly took a sip, and another to sooth her parched throat, before returning the flask. He slipped it back into a pocket once he’d had a sip. Refusing to apologise, Sam stepped over to the DHD, and started dialing the address to one of their “in-between” worlds. In seconds, the ring shifted, chevrons locked, and the familiar kawoosh of the wormhole engaging bathed them in rippling blue light.

Sam turned to face her unlikely ally. Taking a chance, she held out her hand to shake, the closest to a peace offering and apology she would give. “Well, not that it hasn’t been a ball of a time,” she said, smiling at his unimpressed face at a stupid pun, “but I don’t think you want to accompany me from here.”

“Indeed,” Ba’al intoned, as he took her hand, and surprising her, turned and brought it up to press his lips against her knuckles. “Until we meet again, Colonel Carter.”

She swallowed against the surge that coursed through her veins again at his touch, and the fire burning in his eyes as he looked at her. Slowly, Sam pulled back, and made her way to the event horizon. With one glance back to catch him checking out her ass, she made a rude gesture that had him laughing as she stepped through.

Until they met again, indeed.

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xans @ 2015-12-02T21:42:00

2015-12-02T08:43:36Z

Title: 60. Rejection.
Fandom/Pairing: Stargate SG-1 | Sam Carter/Ba'al
Rating: G
Warnings/Notes: No warnings. Just a drabble ficlet written to a prompt over an baalsamgate.tumblr.com.

Eyes narrowed, Ba’al studied the woman before him. Impudent Tau’ri. That she would dare to approach him, to suggest that he--

“No.”

Sam blinked, surprise and confusion crossing her face. “No? Ba’al, you can’t just--”

“I can and I will,” he interrupted, turning back to his work station, and attempted to resume the work she had interrupted. Ba’al frowned at the screen, still irritated, but struggled to ignore her standing there, staring at him. He sighed and turned to face her again.

Ba’al gestured at the manilla folder in her hands. “Sweetheart, you can tell the IOA where they can stick that proposal,” he said. His face softened as he gazed at her. “I’ll work with you, and no one else on this infernal planet. Those are my terms.”

Sam smiled and ducked her head. “You understand I had to ask,” she said.

He tilted his head in brief acknowledgment. “Your leadership lacks your intelligence.”

She huffed a laugh, then leaned in to give him a lingering kiss. “Well,” Sam said, “I guess I better find a diplomatic way to tell them you’re rejecting their offer.”

“If you must. It’s so much more entertaining when you tell them to go to hell.”

“Ba’al!”

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Hi hi hi

2015-07-14T06:32:35Z

I know, I never really use this thing anymore since taking up facebook, twitter, and tumblr. And my f-list consists mostly of communities posting fic recs. But, if you're still around, or just dropping in to see what's up...

I turn 30 tomorrow.

Adult things I have done: shacked up with a guy, got a cat together, married said guy, had a beautiful baby together. Money's a little tight atm but otherwise life is good.

Adult things I haven't done: finished uni/got a degree, learned how to drive/got my license, had a paying job in several years. I really ought to work on the license thing and the job thing, and hopefully via the job thing, get some qualifications. It's a work in progress.

Anything else you wanna know about my life, if you're not up to date on things, drop me a comment and/or swap social media details and we can catch up.

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Dichotomy

2015-04-21T03:56:11Z

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3014266/1/Dichotomy

A Sam/Baal fic not sure I've read.

Why yes, I'm still alive. I haven't updated here in ages except for a couple private for reference posts. Making this one public because what the hell.

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Tumblr

2014-02-10T05:44:12Z

I set up a tumblr hxans.tumblr.com who knows how that will go

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Fuckity fuck

2014-02-06T01:24:35Z

20 weeks today. Anatomy scan tomorrow. It's difficult to feel elated about it at all, because the owner of our house has decided to put it on the market.

When the landlady called saying that a real estate agent would be coming by to do a valuation, we got nervous. The owner told the landlady that he wasn't planning to put it on sale, just wanted to know its market worth. I started looking at rentals anyway. Then the owners came by with another real estate agent to do a second valuation a few days ago. And now it's going on the market. :(

We've been living at this place for four years. It's not perfect, but it suits us well. We don't want to move if we don't have to. But there's no guarantee that new owners would purchase this as an investment property, so we are looking more closely at what rentals are out there. The hard part is finding something that will store all our stuff and also accept that we come with a cat.

If we do move, it means Joe & Kayla will also have to find their own place. Of course, they're going to struggle because they don't want flatmates, but they may not have a choice. Joe also thinks they need a minimum 2 bedroom place for "all their stuff" but I think they could fit into a 1 bedroom. Although Kayla could use a place with a 2nd bedroom for her business (she does some massage stuff on the side).

Bloody inconvenient having to look at moving while 5 months pregnant. Also having to work out what of our stuff we can get rid of, so we don't have to shift it all over again. Gah!

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Ides of Porn

2014-01-21T21:55:20Z

So I put in my prompts for this year's Porn Battle. (http://oxoniensis.livejournal.com/538500.html) I'm also hoping to try and write for more than one prompt.

I feel bad I haven't got around to finishing my Sam/Baal Las Vegas piece, but I'll get there eventually. Because I do want to see it written at some point. Sort of like I might try to get to my other bunnies lying around...

-Sam/Baal, on his spaceship set sometime during the 5th season
-exploring the possibility of Lantash jumping into Sam in The Summit/Last Stand (and living)
-Sam/Baal/Vala, because, um, they're pretty
-Sam/Baal, AU of The Road Not Taken where she needs his help to get back to her universe

I just need to work on actually writing down the words instead of sitting there with the pen & paper or at the computer desk and staring into space thinking up scenarios.

We had a big earthquake a couple days ago, a 6.2 out of Eketahuna. It was a bit scary, I think because small quakes are short and this shaking was going on for several seconds. I crouched down next to my desk just as the worst part hit, things fell of shelves and there was an almighty SMASH from the kitchen. We lost one beer glass and an ornament of Alan's got broken but it can be fixed. Everything else just needed to be set back in place. (And the adrenaline meant if I hadn't felt baby before, I definitely felt it after, haha.) Life goes on.

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If you're reading this.

2013-09-06T10:01:17Z

I probably should have used a cut on that last entry but I post so infrequently these days that, fuck it, you can read my novella of an entry or just keep on scrolling the fuck down. :)

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Slightly overdue post regarding Amanda Palmer's Ninja Parade

2013-09-06T09:58:43Z

So, Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra are in the country. I ummed and ahhed about buying a ticket to the Wellington show, but it ended up sold out and they couldn't move to a bigger venue. I posted to twitter regarding my conundrum: I wanted to go, but I wanted someone to share the experience with. As far as I knew, I didn't have any friends who were AFP fans that lived close by. Hubs also wouldn't be keen to go out on a work night, not that he was overstruck by her music when I played a couple songs for him.

Anyway, come last weekend and Amanda is tweeting about how she's in the country and trying to get over her jetlag, and she was thinking a ninja gig, only with all the offers of places to visit, maybe she would do a sort of ninja parade instead. Well. I couldn't miss this. So I didn't.

And I remembered one of my childhood friends (his mother used to babysit my brother & I after school but we've kept touch over the years) was now living in Wellington, and had recently been raving about Neil Gaiman's "Ocean at the End of the Lane." If he's a Gaiman fan, I wondered, is he possibly an AFP fan like me? Sent him a message via FB, and it turned out his friend had been hanging out with Amanda and he was thinking of going to the ninja parade. Sweet, I have someone to meet up with.

So I put together my bag of things, double checked my camera batteries were charged, and Alan took me in. It was fun walking towards the painted piano outside this cafe, to see the colourful group already gathering in anticipation. All up I think 1-200 odd people showed up. There was a cheer as Amanda arrived. She is rather gorgeous.

She opened with this very simple song on the ukelele, "I love her cigarettes" that we all pretty much learned by the end of the parade if not the end of the first rendition. The next song she sang on her uke, I can't remember what it was (something Dresden Dolls? I am a bad fan), only that she stopped mid-song to observe someone sitting in the front row who'd arrived dressed up as a ninja. She was amused as fuck about that, before carrying on. Then she played a couple songs on the piano, one being "The Killing Type" and then "Coin Operated Boy" and during that song she broke the piano (oops).

Then it was time to move on to the next destination (Wellington Library, Young Adult Section) while she spoke to the cafe owner and apologised about the piano. At the library she struggled to think of songs that were library appropriate and thematic... I don't think I can remember the first song, but I do remember her playing "Map of Tasmania" and everyone self-censoring the swear word. And we sang her ukelele cover of Radiohead's "Creep", that was fun.

My friend missed the opening location because he was tied up with work but he came along to the library and through text messages we met up at the end of that before the group moved on to Te Papa. We ended up walking roughly along side Amanda for a good portion of the walk (I tried not to stumble into her when the pathway narrowed and dropped my pace so I didn't walk on her heels and breathe down her neck like a creeper). She was talking to a girl that later on we found out was semi-kinda-sorta-related to her (it was a convoluted brother's wife's cousin's sister-in-law kind of thing I don't recall the exact path it took haha).

Oh, yeah, remember how I double checked my camera batteries? And Alan even asked if I packed spares "Spares? I don't need spares! They're fine!" Hahahahahahahahahaha. My camera lied. By carefully turning on and off I was able to land a few snap shots, but it didn't like bad light or zooming and so several shots didn't turn out and by the end of the evening the fucker wouldn't stay on long enough to take a shot. So. About four shots turned out well and that was it. And I didn't get a photo with her like I wanted. (I didn't think to switch my SIM card into hubs old cellphone that has the camera in it either, stupid me.)

Anyway, at Te Papa she sang another song I can't remember what it was called, the one about Britney, herself & Madonna (there's a theme here. I think I forgot the name of at least one song at each venue) before singing the New Zealand Song. She told us of its conception, and apologised that it was rather crappy for being hastily written, and she struggled to remember the lyrics lol. Then our assignment to take 7 minutes--one minute to find an object, five minutes to draw it, one minute to return--and then we all went outside and lined up so she could record them all. I'm no artist, but I drew the hooked beak from a giant squid and happened to be standing next to a guy who drew a squid but I doubt it was apparent to anyone but me wtf it was.

I was also standing next to this red head girl, and her face was very familiar to me. I was pretty sure I recognised her from working at my local supermarket. I didn't ask her that right away though, I waited until the end of the night before I left, so if I was wrong I had a quick exit lol. Turns out she did used to work there but not anymore. So I wasn't crazy, heh.

After Te Papa we moved on to Cuba Street and this bookstore. The original intent had been to do something similar to what she did in Portland with everyone quietly picking out books and her signing them, but there were way more than us, ONE shopkeeper and the bookkeeping was manual. Some people bought books, but my friend and I chose not to. She sang the cigarette song again, and, "Do You Swear To Tell The Truth The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth So Help Your Black Ass" and possibly one other? She wrapped it up with the signing of the books that people bought. At the point my friend left to go meet some other friends and I was on my own again. I tried not to feel to awkward but I did feel a bit weird. I also wanted to get a hug from Amanda and was trying to work out an opportune moment to get that hug without interrupting the flow of things. (spoiler: I did get a hug eventually. It was only slightly awkward)

We moved up the street to this art gallery place called Laundry on Cuba? Where we all sort of gathered on the street and clogged the footpath, while Amanda sat at a piano out front of the place. It was rather dark, as the place was between streetlights although they did put lamps on the piano and such. There was also a pair of flamingo ornaments which made me think of the whole Neil-Flamingo thing from a few months back. And Amanda played, on a piano that was so very out of tune, again at least one song I don't recall before she chose to sing "Hallelujah" which was perfect and we all joined in, because who the fuck doesn't sing along to "Hallelujah".

We also got the tale about how she got arrested in Amsterdam for drinking beer on the street when performing like she was, and, y'know, drinking in a public street is illegal here too (we suggested she try bribing our cops with a sip of they tried arresting her here). The rest of her band showed up at that point, so she introduced them and they posed for some photos... I seriously wish my camera had been working then because there was a hilarious moment when Thor & Jherek were holding her up to sit on Chad's shoulders, and Chad briefly turned around so he faced her crotch. Primo shot right there, lol.

Then it was time to move on to our FINAL DESTINATION (why did no one make jokes about how we were all gonna die?), a place called the Garret Street Collective. Most people headed off straight away but a few lingered for photo ops with the whole band and such. We ended up in this third floor 'L'-shaped room and it was rather cosy, people were picking places and pouring drinks and the like. I secured a place next to the wall at the corner of the 'L' where I had an eye on the door but could see the rest of the room. At one moment when I had my back to the door I felt someone sort of bump into me, turned, and there was Amanda. (This isn't when I got my hug.) She looked at the crowd in the room, looked at me, and said, "Wow," before someone was tugging her elbow to introduce her to this guy called Hans.

Hans was quickly downing a drink to stir up some liquid courage, because by all accounts he's a rather shy fellow. (He looked so prim and proper, with his letterman's jacket and hair parted to the side and everything) His friends really wanted him to perform for Amanda though, so they went over to the mic where the people who lived/worked there introduced things and Hans got to play the uke first. So this supposedly shy guy bellowed out this rousing song-tale about some dreadful black-hearted guy. I didn't know the song but a lot of the others did and there was much stamping and shouting as it was sung. Then it was Amanda's turn to play again.

Again I can't remember the song but she was slightly thrown off by the fact the piano keys had at some point been splashed with paint, so there were white keys and black keys that were in fact red, and there was no rhyme (ha!) or reason to it. She also broke it at some point. (So that's two broken pianos, one out of tune piano.) They wound up pulling off a couple panels and such so she could get at the innards and fix thing, and she performed the rest of the song with an exposed piano.

Someone requested something from Theatre is Evil, so it was either Bed Song or Trout Heart Replica and we settled on Trout Heart. She also gave the full unabridged tale of its conception, and about how Neil wrote a poem about that event, and that their other friend Jen was supposed to create something related to the trout thing, but she is a "bad artist" because she hasn't done so yet. (We are supposed to tease her about this.)

They had a set of drums and a bass, so she played a couple sets with the people there, "Blister in the Sun" and something else I've forgotten, but there was a mosh pit involved. And then we got "Ukelele Anthem" which was great, although slightly disconcerting for me, used to listening to it alone, to have people laughing at the lyrics. The room went quiet and then there was this very polite, "One more!" And so Amanda played the cigarette one last time and we sang along (because we'd all learned it by now).

At this point it sort of broke down to a sort of meet-and-greet style thing, so I made my way through the crowd the queue up with the others wanting hugs, kisses, photos, autographs etc. I wound up lending my vivid to a couple girls wanting their bags signed (I had thought about bringing my Theatre is Evil booklet/CD case to be signed but I'm not really worried about collecting autographs--apart from my Sam Neill one anyway). And then there was a small cluster of us in one of those party circles with Amanda having a wee chat.

She was, y'know, amazed/impressed at all of us that had stuck with her since quarter to 4, as it was after 8 at this point. I was all, "I'm a housewife, I got plenty of free time." "Kids?" she asked me. "Nah, nah, and my husband's kids are all grown up." "Same." At this point I was sort of conscious I wasn't the only person in the group, or room, who wanted her attention so I asked for a hug then. (It was slightly awkward to me to jump to hugs after 30s of conversation but it probably didn't even phase her.) She leaned in, and I leaned in... I'm not generally a huggy person with anyone beyond my husband (I'm sort of obliged to hug mum, dad, & BFF but I'm still not v. huggy with them), but that was a wonderful hug to have anyway. I said "Thank you, this has been fun," and then the others in the little circle were getting their hugs and whatnot, so I slowly backed out so people behind me could get a moment of her time too.

After having a wee chat with the red-head I mentioned before, I didn't stick around long after that. I knew I needed to walk down to the train station, and would take an hour on the train to get home. I had said to Alan that I didn't know what time I'd be home and he'd probably be on his own for dinner but I also knew he'd be wondering where I was at. I couldn't text him because he uses his cellphone so infrequently that his SIM card had actually expired.

So.

Conclusion, if you ever get the chance to attend an Amanda Palmer ninja gig (or better yet, ninja parade)... DO IT. :D

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Oh, hai there

2013-07-20T04:34:41Z

Realising I haven't posted an entry since March. I should do something about that.

So, my birthday was last Monday, I turned 28. There was cake, and a couple parcels of goodies from my mum, couple of cards & plenty of happy birthdays on FB and such. A good day. Unfortunately, it's fallen during a whole week of mood swings, acne breakouts, tender boobies... basically, some of the worst and longest lasting PMS I've encountered since my teen years. Normally if I get moodiness it's a day or two and then my period hits. So far, no period, just lots of ups and downs and unexpected tears. Even had a few cross words with hubs because apparently as he was pushing some of my buttons in my crankiness I was pushing some of his right back.

And it wasn't helped but us being guilt-tripped into hosting his mother at a t time we didn't really want to. She'd been to stay recently but there were Reasons. It would have been tolerable if it was one or two nights but we were looking at an extended stay of possibly two weeks. He was able to pull a half day on Wednesday though and take her home a bit earlier. I like my Mother in Law but she wants to chatter and then looks through the brochures and comes up with a new list every day of things she'd like us to go pick up from the shops from her. Plus cooking meals at an earlier time and making sure it's something she can eat... all of it was just an extra bit of hassle at a time where my hormones are already fucking with me something fierce.

Plus it's winter and cold and fuck that shit.

I haven't been writing the fanfic like I intended to earlier this year, which is very slack of me. Still stuck on making the words and stories in my head form something coherent outside for the world to see. But I have made a few new fandom friends on twitter so I am feeling a bit accomplished for peeking out of my shell just a bit.

Have been to see several of the new movies at the theatres over the last few months, like Iron Man 3 and Star Trek Into Darkness, ones that I thought would look excellent in 3D. The exception to that though was going to the Chick Flick night a week or so ago, where for $25 I got a movie ticket, glass of wine, ice cream, chocolate, and a bag of goodies (pamphlets and vouchers mostly) from local businesses. I went with my step-son Joe's girlfriend Kayla, and the movie we saw was The Heat. Incredibly hilarious I was very glad that all the good reviews I heard were not over hyping it.

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Domestic Goddess

2013-03-02T02:21:03Z

Okay, story time. Some people may not be aware, but I first moved in with my husband after we had been together a mere two weeks. This was not because we were madly in love (although he wasn't far away from admitting he was falling in love with me, and not long after I admitted the feeling was mutual). It was because I had some housing issues arise, and while our relationship was new, I trusted that I could stay with him however briefly until I could land on my feet. This also means that in the beginning of our relationship, Alan was initially reluctant to have me help with the bills, cooking, or other chores, not because he didn't think I wasn't capable of contributing, but because he wasn't sure how long our relationship would last. I think it might have been around the five-month mark, when he also told me if we made 3 years he'd look at making it legal, that he sort of figured out that our relationship was pretty damn stable, happy, and there was no need for me to go anywhere.

By then, since we both worked, we were splitting the bills, cooking, and other chores. However, when he got the job that required us to move, I ended up giving up my job, and became a housewife, or, as I call it, a Domestic Goddess. Since he's the one working full-time, it makes sense that I do most of the chores and cooking while he covers the bills. That doesn't mean he doesn't help out around the house, or stopped cooking, but it's largely my domain now, and if I go back to working we'll go back to splitting like we did. Anyway, there's a reason I bring this all up. See, the last few months I've been pretty slack on one of my chores, because it's become such an awful job. Vacuuming.

Our vacuum sucked. Or rather, it DIDN'T suck. Which meant I run it over the same piece of floor ten times & still could see visible dirt. Lord knows how much dirt I wasn't even coming close to picking up. Or cat hair. Or my hair. Bear in mind the rooms in our house are huge, and even if Joe & Kayla are responsible for keeping downstairs clean & tidy, I still have five large rooms & a hallway to vacuum. And I hadn't been doing it regularly since our vacuum was so awful.

But yesterday, Alan was convinced to spend a little more cash than he ever would have on a new vacuum. And maybe it's silly and so horribly domestic of me to be so excited by a new vacuum cleaner, but... IT DOES THE JOB. Alan had a small try of it last night and even he was willing to admit it was worth it to shell out that extra dosh instead of settling for something cheaper that probably wouldn't do the same job as well and I would come to hate as much as the old cleaner. What we bought is a Hoover Cyclonic Bagless Vacuum Cleaner with Powerhead. I had to empty it after finishing each room because it picked up so much dirt, fur & hair, but the difference in clean is so visible. And I don't feel exhausted because I didn't have to cover the same piece of floor ten times. We'd moved a rug out of our lounge into a spare bedroom because it attracted so much fur & hair and never got clean, and the new cleaner just lifted it all off.

So, whoever does the vacuuming in your household, I really, really recommend spending a goodly sum on a decent vacuum with a powerhead. And make sure you find out where all the filters and everything are and be sure to clean your vacuum out after each time you use it, because it can't do it's job properly if you don't keep maintaining it. At the end of doing the chores you can look around the house, and see how clean it is, and feel that sense of satisfaction of a job well done, of being house-proud because it's genuinely tidy.

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