xans

Just existing

2024-03-12T23:27:28Z

I've been in a bit of a weird limbo lately. I'm not overly active in any particular fandom, I haven't been reading a lot of fanfic or watching/rewatching any shows that make me want to write reaction posts about and engage with others watching it too. I'm still low-key obsessed with Moon Knight, but like, I'm very particular about what I want to consume in that fandom and also weirdly antisocial about it. I think there's a couple other fandom discords that exist that I'd like to be a part of, but I'm too chickenshit to ask for an invite.

I also haven't been strongly drawn into any new shows (we're kinda sorta watching Hanna, Halo, and the live-action ATLA but I'll forget to put them on a lot).

Currently I'm reading the Pegasus serirs by Kate O'Hearn, which is not bad YA stuff, although... like, I asked my husband what he thought of the ATLA show that we've watched so far, and he said it was ok, but also kind of weird how it seemed to fluctuate between corny/cheesy and then rather violent for something with YA protagonists. And this book series I feel kind of the same.

I seem to be keeping anxiety at bay, though there was a week there not long after the school year started I thought things were going to set me off again, but we're handling it.

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Comments are love

2023-12-27T21:13:12Z

I got a comment on a fic published on Ao3 in 2013 that I originally wrote and posted on lj and cross-posted to ff.net back in 2007. Someone not only remembered reading my fic years ago, they were delighted to find it again.

That has made my day and is reminder to me that I should try to comment on fics when I read them. I've been hit or miss about that. Probably a weird brain thing, but I often find the less comments and kudos a fic has, the more inclined I am to give it some love. Same with older fics.

Anyway, I've not written anything in years, but it pleases me that something I wrote entertains people still.

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xans @ 2018-12-10T19:32:00

2018-12-10T06:54:07Z

Apparently intro posts are the thing to be doing atm? So, hmmm... If you're new, just getting to know me, I guess I can make a post with the basics.

Hi, I'm Hana. I'm 33, married, with one kid and a cat. I've been online in various fandoms since I was 14.

Started out in geocities/yahoo chatrooms, making friends with other LotR fans and finding a geeky corner to hangout. Was one of the youngest there. One of the other teenage girls that frequented there introduced me to *NSYNC RPF fanfic, and that's where I started.

Read a lot of LotR fanfic on ff.net, stumbled across some slash sites that were both LotR & LotR RPF, the latter of which I was less into. Made friends on a LotR fan site/message board that transferred over to livejournal. Covered a few fandoms on lj, including Harry Potter, House, Bones, Firefly, Heroes, Constantine, and Stargate/Atlantis. Made friends with my love of the Vampire Chronicles, Dragonriders of Pern, also to some degree the Wheel of Time and *cringe* Sword of Truth.

Have wandered through a few others over the years on Ao3 & tumblr, such as Generation Kill, The Mummy, The Eagle/Eagle of the Ninth, The Fast & the Furious.

And of course there's the MCU. I'm sort of distanced myself from MCU a little bit (but not completely), mainly because I worry I'll have what happened with my love of HP: I consumed so much fic and spent so much time tearing the world apart that the canon no longer measured up (confession: I have never read Deathly Hallows. I fell out of love after HBP and never finished the series). I'm still hanging around the fringes and have a super soft spot for the Bucky/Logan rarepair.

I am, at heart, a multi-fandom multi-shipper, so while I have ships I love, I'm not necessarily locked down in an OTP.

A few other shows/movies I love that I don't tend to seek fic out are Killing Eve, Star Wars, Star Trek, Farscape, Babylon 5, Band of Brothers, and I could be here for hours if I started going through them all. I have dinner waiting, so I won't. This post is a good starting point, though, right?

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xans @ 2018-12-04T11:10:00

2018-12-03T22:14:28Z

In light of the tumblr fuckery, I may look at making my personal posts over here again as well. I'm not planning to leave there until their lights are out, but without a pillowfort or discord account, I'm looking at Twitter, ao3, and possibly even dreamwidth to keep my fandom stuff active.

So anyway, hi if you found me from posting my info on tumblr or the fandom spreadsheet.

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I wrote something...

2013-01-30T00:36:13Z

For the Porn Battle XIV (Fiery Fourteen), I managed to actually write something. I have never written porn before.

Knowing, Stargate Continuum, Aziru (Ba'al's Host)/Vala Mal Doran, a certain spark

Links?
On El-Jay
&
On AO3

Tell me if it's terrible.

Tell me if it's not.

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Fandom & fanfic

2013-01-09T23:06:25Z

So, I finally got around to setting up an account on AO3. Several reasons for doing this, including cross-posting fanfic that had originally been posted on lj or my ff.net account (hey, once upon a time ff.net was the best multi-fandom archive available). Another reason is that I'm sort of hoping that having an account will inspire me to actually get back into writing fanfic. I never really wrote long pieces or anything, but I've lost track of a lot of the fandom circles... I'm not on tumblr and lj is becoming a dried out husk, and although I have a dreamwidth, it seems, idk, like I have an audience of none. So, if I want people to actually read my stuff, I need to step out of my little shadowed corner.

Anyway.

The idea is to get back into writing instead of just living in my head and daydreaming the hell out of things. Not a NY resolution by any means, just, something I'd like to do.

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Crack

2012-05-24T04:45:03Z

Well, my love and I bought the first season of Game of Thrones a week ago or so, and promptly fell in love with it. I'm digging Arya, Jon Snow, and The Imp the most. Second season is only screening on SOHO here so will have to wait until it is out on DVD, and avoid spoilers if I can.

Um, so was reading a few gen Avengers fanfic and stumbled on the crack!pairing that is Darcy Lewis/Bruce Banner (or Darcy/Hulk) and rather loving it.

Amanda Palmer retweeted something I posted about her and earned me a follower haha. I'd say the chick, like me, was drawn to Amanda by her husband Neil Gaiman posting about her and we share that in common at least. I'm also really digging the single "Do it with a rock star" that she released to backers, although Alan wasn't over struck on it. Speaking of Neil, amazon.com has the entire Sandman series in a slipcover available for pre-order, for under $200. It is very, very tempting.

I also got around to buying the Lana Del Rey album off iTunes and have those songs in my head all the time now.

I'm also wondering about buying Diablo 3. I didn't pre-order and turns out that was a good thing since blizzard didn't anticipate sales and their servers crashed shortly after the game was released. As far as I'm aware it's sorted now but still a bit unsure as I don't want to be disappointed like I was with Dungeon Siege 3.

I need to put a grocery list together and walk down to meet Alan after work.

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I need a Natasha/Black Widow icon

2012-05-08T06:11:35Z

Okay, okay, RL post...

Got a temporary job doing stocktake at Alan's store. It's only for a month (two weeks already gone) but hey, it's a bit of extra dosh and quite handy for shelling out on necessities like firewood, and not so necessary, like Amanda Palmer's kickstarter project because it is so utterly cool and exciting how fast she raised money. And she's funny and I love following both her and Neil Gaiman on twitter because they are an adorable couple.

Also on twitter, amusing to follow Zachary Quinto & Simon Pegg and see them getting up to shenanigans in Hooters with Cumberbatch (I don't even watch the new Sherlock)... weirdest thing is reading Leonard Nimoy's posts with his voice in my head.

Anyway, back to the job thing... it means getting up at 5 a.m. two mornings in a row, which is a bitch but survivable. Although, fuck this cold. I know it's heading into winter but fuck the cold. Winter also means July also means my birthday means holy shit I'm almost twenty-fucking-SEVEN ayfkm surely I only turned 17 last year. My brother is going to be 30, which is supposed to be grown-up, right? Except it's impossible to imagine my brother being grown-up. And me being grown-up. I will never give up my legos.

I still need to organise my wedding holy hell I am terrible at this.

Summing up my thoughts in both this post and the comments: How the fuckity fuck can people not realise how awesome Natasha/Black Widow is? IF YOU DISAGREE, WE HAVE VERY DIFFERENT MEMORIES OF BUDAPEST, OKAY? Also, see title of post. I can has icons?

A couple fic recs:
By Arwen Lune -- Rock Happy A Generation Kill/SGA fusion, or; Brad Colbert in Atlantis. "You know what's really weird about the whole thing?" Brad finally said. Nate raised en eyebrow. "Apart from the whole highly classified, inter-branch, civilian and international, can't-tell-you-what-our-program-is-called-without-non-disclosure-paperwork, independent-thinker selecting, amiable Air Force and Corps officer cooperation thing?" Also, Brad Colbert mentioned in Rock Happy that he found a Shit My CO Says list on the Atlantis wiki. Rock Happy is still a WIP but what I've gathered from the notes she is close to wrapping it up, and then intends to write shorter fics featuring the Generation Kill boys in Atlantis. Normally I steer clear of WIPs because I hate the long waits, but she's been fairly regular.

By auburn -- Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves John Sheppard/Rodney McKay Summary: Vala Mal Doran and her partners, renegades Jehan abd-Ba'al and Meredith McKay, hijack the Tau'ri ship Prometheus and leave the Milky Way behind in search of the Lost City of the Ancients, Atlantis. This is a long read with plenty of action and suspense, that parallels many canon events but also takes some new twists, and also explores some things the show never touched on, like just WHY everyone manages to mostly understand each other, except some languages and the written word. For the most part, I enjoyed it immensely, although I don't know if it's personal preference/head canon, I just felt Carter got a bit of a raw deal, but then the author's main focus was on Vala, Jehan, and Meredith as the core cast of this tale. There's a couple shorter pieces set in the same 'verse that I haven't read yet.

By copperbadge/sam_storyteller -- Avengers: A Partial Dictionary Of The 21st Century Steve/Tony but really a gorgeous exploration of the 21st Century by Steve, with some interesting extrapolations about the other Avengers... It's amazing what you can keep in the refrigerator. By the time the team is living in Stark Mansion, the big industrial fridge in the kitchen is packed. Bruce and Natasha tried to institute the "everyone gets a shelf" rule, but Tony just eats whatever's there and Thor doesn't really understand the concept of personal property very well and Clint positively delights in eating other peoples' food, because he says it tastes better if it's stolen. And, and, there's just this reference to Xavier/Magneto that tugged my heartstrings...

By dduane -- "Mycroft's Delight" okay, it's supposed to be BBC Sherlock but I haven't seen that, so I was picturing Stephen Fry's Mycoft from the movie, bust still. Part of me just loves the fact a published author doesn't hesitate to write fanfic (esp. after that ONTD post about author's opinions on fanfic--mainly, the authors they chose to quote mostly were quite dickish about it), and the story itself is delightful to sink into, and, bonus, she included a recipe at the end.

That's all for now...

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It had to happen sometime

2012-02-27T00:10:16Z

So, Gratch's patience with my iPad has finally worn off. It's only taken six months of glaring jealousy... now when she wants my lap and the iPad is in the way she simply hops up and shoves it off my lap. I am owned.

I suck at actually organising my wedding omg.

Alan just had a birthday, I bought him an e-reader and made a mocha truffle cheesecake of sinful rich deliciousness. We also cracked open the Heineken keg he'd got for Christmas.

Finally sat down to rewatch certain episodes of SG-1 pertaining to Ba'al. Abyss, as he walks into the chamber to begin interrogating Jack? Honest to god shivers down my spine. Also, I love that coat so much. Random Sam/Teal'c moment where she touches his bicep for no particular reason. And Reckoning, his amusement at being an insufferable holographic prig. Oh... I <3 me some Ba'al. About to look into the Season 9/10 eps, where he is quite funny at times, and we get to hear his voice minus the flange (although I do like it with, just a little bit...).

And, am I imagining things, or is there actually a scene somewhere in the series where Jack is the prisoner of someone, and he's being tortured/interrogated when they get interrupted, and he utters the line, "Listen, if you're busy--" *eyebrow/shrug/cough* "--I can come back." (And of course he doesn't because they all escape shortly after that) Have I just read too many fanfics? Probably.

Also been reading a lot of Generation Kill fic lately, especially three rather cool GK/SGA crossover fics, because there's something awesome about Brad Colbert and Ray Person in Atlantis.

So, yeah.

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So I had my first ever Doctor Who dream last night.

2012-01-06T18:53:31Z

Which is hilarious when you consider I don't watch the show and don't participate in that fandom except in the most peripheral sense. I suppose I sort of picked up some things via osmosis, from knowing people who are fans, and from having seen, ohh, three episodes and snippets of a couple others. But it's even more random in that I have not even been thinking about the show at all, so why did I go and dream about it?

The dream was still kind of cool, although a bit all over the place. We were being chased by some agent types, and I wanted to go with the Doctor, which he was heavily implying that if I did, I would never come home again because I would die. I think dream me had a very boring life and no loving fiancee, because I didn't really see a problem with that fate. There would be adventures. And there was a robot that was kind of like a Dalek in appearance but not in genocidal tendencies, that we consulted rather like an oracle and it gave me some various flavoured love-heart shaped vitamins with all my nutritional needs. Because starving to death sucks.

...and I woke up just as he was taking me into the TARDIS.

Amusing anyway.

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