He is such a bitch

[xans]

This is a conversation I had with my ex, Jason, yesterday. It's a bit long, but I felt like posting it in all its entirety because I got several good insults in there. Especially once the topic moved onto how he was doing. Don't ask me why I haven't blocked him yet, because I couldn't tell you. Well, maybe it's so I can talk to him, and then tell Brie about it so she feels better about herself because no matter how depressed she feels she isn't him. You know how that is.

Dharm says: *blinks*
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Yes?
Dharm says: Why, oh why do I have to have a crush on a younger guy?
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I've no Idea...
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Cuz he's cute, adorable and OOOOh so sexay
God (is now playing UT2004) says: ?
God (is now playing UT2004) says: lol
Dharm says: he's cute, adorable, but I don't know about sexy per se
God (is now playing UT2004) says: lol
Dharm says: but it's just... physically he is unlike ANYTHING I've been attracted to before. Ever.
God (is now playing UT2004) says: what is he like?
God (is now playing UT2004) says: jock mode?
Dharm says: He's about my height, and not fat but definitely not scrawny, medium brown hair and brown eyes
Dharm says: he's kind of almost goth/punk but not
God (is now playing UT2004) says: hmm... so far, sounds like me in 8th grade...
God (is now playing UT2004) says: so far
God (is now playing UT2004) says: minus the goth/punk thingish
Dharm says: except you were never about my height
God (is now playing UT2004) says: hrm... well, correctamundo you are
Dharm says: and your hair was bleached blond
Dharm says: and wasn't nearly as short as his
God (is now playing UT2004) says: oh, thats right... I was into that back then...
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I forgot about that...
Dharm says: I don't
God (is now playing UT2004) says: ouch... that hurts.
Dharm says: meh
Dharm says: there could be worse things for me to remember than what you looked like when I met you
God (is now playing UT2004) says: ouch, double burn.
Dharm says: anyway
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Are you going to take my manhood next? Or is the Jason assault overwith?
God (is now playing UT2004) says: lol
God (is now playing UT2004) says: j/k
God (is now playing UT2004) says: anywayz...
Dharm says: it doesn't feel like a Friday
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I know
Dharm says: I also had a bad start, so who knows.
God (is now playing UT2004) says: what happened?
Dharm says: well, I just couldn't seem to wake up properly
Dharm says: and I'd forgotten that mum wasn't taking me to school this morning
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Thats no good...
Dharm says: so, at about twenty after six, about five minutes after I should have been out of the house, I remembered
Dharm says: I had very little time to call my friend Rhi who lives up the lane and say, "Hey, I need a ride." grab food for breakfast and lunch, grab my bag, and head out the door
God (is now playing UT2004) says: sorry...
Dharm says: it takes me fifteen minutes to get the the bus stop
God (is now playing UT2004) says: so... this crush... does he tlk to you? or even like you?
Dharm says: he calls me his friend
Dharm says: so I don't think he thinks of me as some sexy bitch
Dharm says: we just talk a little over the day if we actually have something to talk about
Dharm says: anyway
Dharm says: how's life?
Dharm says: managed to get kicked out yet again?
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Been better
God (is now playing UT2004) says: yep
God (is now playing UT2004) says: twice
Dharm says: wtf is his problem?
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I dunno. He's my dad
God (is now playing UT2004) says: ask him, i've been asking the same thing for years...
God (is now playing UT2004) says: that and now it looks like I am going to be moving
God (is now playing UT2004) says: from the place I've been in for 9 years
Dharm says: haha, I don't think I've even spent half of my life in any one country consecutively
God (is now playing UT2004) says: well,. all the people that I now love and care about live here and now I just have to leave them all. It's hard, and depression rears its ugly head again...
Dharm says: hah.
Dharm says: at least you're not moving half-way across the fucking world
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Well... at least you haven't been in the same spot for nine years to build relationships with people that you will love...
Dharm says: no, but I have my best friends and such
Dharm says: like Andrea, over in NZ, who's been my friend for half our lives now
Dharm says: I haven't seen her in 2 years
Dharm says: nearly 3
God (is now playing UT2004) says: well... at least you have those kind of friends that wont leave you and backstab you...
Dharm says: I've had them
Dharm says: I've had friends who were nice to me in person and then horrible to me online
Dharm says: luring me into a false sense of security and then plunging the knife into my heart
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Hopefully im not one of those... my memory isn't what it used to be...
Dharm says: no
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Aye... sry...
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I dunno tho... just so I don't have anyone here that will care I feel like just making everyone hate me...
Dharm says: yes, well, don't
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I dunno tho..
Dharm says: it's something a lot of teens going off to far away colleges do
Dharm says: they cut people off so they won't feel the loss so badly
Dharm says: it's foolish
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I honestly dont feel i should belong in existance, my mind gets more and more corrupt everyday..
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I mean that, really. I have trouble thinking sane thoughts... I don't think I'll be able to control my self much longer... maybe check my self in or sumthin
Dharm says: well I can't exactly help you there
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I inadvertanly tried to strangle one of my buddies...
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I dunno tho...
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Death or Abandonment seem like good choices now...
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I'd rather not live in a clinic for the rest of my life
Dharm says: yes, well, they're not.
Dharm says: I doubt you'd stay there for the rest of your life
Dharm says: you're not THAT fucked up
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Not yet.
Dharm says: you're about as fucked up as most teens actually
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I dunno...
God (is now playing UT2004) says: if thats what you thing
God (is now playing UT2004) says: *think
God (is now playing UT2004) says: things dont have the same joy they used to...
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I don't like socializing, using the computer or even *gasp in shock and horror* videogames...
Dharm says: *rolls eyes* so you're depressed
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Yea... i've been that way for a little too long...
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I've also started to drink and smoke.
Dharm says: and so have most teens
Dharm says: you're no fucking different
God (is now playing UT2004) says: So then, do most teens envision themselves in the blood of their friends?
Dharm says: I wouldn't be surprised
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Okay then, iyo, do you think I need help?
Dharm says: You probably need a better therapist than me
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I dont have a therapist.
Dharm says: well, maybe you should look into getting one
Dharm says: shrinks exist for a reason
God (is now playing UT2004) says: with what money?
Dharm says: maybe you could whore yourself off?
God (is now playing UT2004) says: tried, no one wants me.
God (is now playing UT2004) says: and I mean that too.
Dharm says: you'd be surprised
Dharm says: maybe it's not that they don't want you, it's that the ones that do, you don't want to do
God (is now playing UT2004) says: no... i've tried a lot of ppl, err advertising that is... everyone is appalled at the idea, so I stopped.
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Im not exactly cute and/or charming, ya know... well maybe for dawn... but yea...
Dharm says: like whores are always pretty
Dharm says: but if you really think you need professional help, there is always the go to your parents and/or school counsellor deal
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I don't want my parents to know what I think and feel, they'd disown me, especially my dad, and you KNOW that...
Dharm says: And that's when you lose your temper and tell him what a failure he is
Dharm says: and that he's part of the problem, and here you are trying to fix the problem and he's just making it worse
God (is now playing UT2004) says: no... losing my temper would result in something a little more bloody.
Dharm says: I'm sure if you bitch and moan enough, you can guilt trip the bastard
God (is now playing UT2004) says: my ass... only people with a soul can feel guilt.
God (is now playing UT2004) says: He wouldn't know what guilt was even if it bit him in the ass.
Dharm says: You'd be surprised
Dharm says: See, he may present the illusion of being an apathetic asshole, but think of Foreman and his dad in That 70's Show
God (is now playing UT2004) says: thats TV, hana.
Dharm says: *rolls eyes* Not all TV is fake
Dharm says: just because they're fictional characters
Dharm says: doesn't mean the relationships they show don't happen
God (is now playing UT2004) says: They do; in europe, where the whole population isn't desensitized by media yet.
Dharm says: and this is where my faith in your judgement fails
Dharm says: any reasonable, intelligent person would see wtf I'm talking about
Dharm says: you, on the other hand, are so interested in your "Woe is me" bullshit that nothing I say or do will change that
God (is now playing UT2004) says: hello!? YOU ARE TALKING TO AN EX-BOYFRIEND! I AM AN IDIOT!!!
Dharm says: your being my ex has nothing to do with this
God (is now playing UT2004) says: well, I don't know.
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I just hate my emotions. they block out my reasonable thought.
Dharm says: it's just the fact you're a whiney, self-centered prick who's only hope for attention is the "I'm a depressed fucker" one which, I'm sorry to say, is vastly overused
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Do you really mean the prick part?
Dharm says: I can't honestly answer that
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Okay.
Dharm says: because, truth be told, I'm more than a little pissed at you now
God (is now playing UT2004) says: I noticed
Dharm says: so this just could be anger speaking
God (is now playing UT2004) says: could...
Dharm says: but the fact is your constant bitching is getting on my nerves. I don't like having my suggestions thrown out by whiney excuses because you don't have the guts to DO something about your problems
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Ya know what? I appreciate that. That makes sense, and so does a lot of shit now.
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Matter of fact, why am I still bitching? It's friday!
Dharm says: Exactly. You have a whole weekend in which you can do as much or as little as you please and not have to worry
God (is now playing UT2004) says: True!
God (is now playing UT2004) says: Thanks hana...
Dharm says: *shrugs*
God (is now playing UT2004) says: if you were here I'd probably hug you.
God (is now playing UT2004) says: against your will.
Dharm says: That's great. Of course I would have bitch slapped you about three or four times by now too.

There's just something about him being depressed that doesn't evoke my sympathy. Most of my friends have my sympathy, compassion, and love. Not him. I just want to beat the shit out of him.

Fin.