xans: Xans (Bitchcakes)
It's Oh So Quiet Bjiork

lyrics )

'Cause I like 'em.

Off to Wellington soon. Will be around even less. Oh noes!

Life goes on.

I think, just possibly, I have a lot of books. Fucking heavy.

Speaking of swearing, "cunt" is such a fun word to say. CUNT. (I know you love it when I talk dirty. Ooooh yeah.)

Cut offs are fun, except when there's a bajillion flies around and I can't tell if the tickling on my legs is just the frayed bits, or a fly... There's a multitude of the bastards about, and they're fly spray resistant or something, 'cause they keep not dying in significant numbers.

CSI NY, Bones, Lost, and Invasion tonight. Unfortunately not on the same channel. 'Spose I can tape one channel and watch the other... or Ange will and we'll watch it tomorrow. Yep, going over to [livejournal.com profile] pandoras_evil_t's for a wine and movie, so likely we'll watch that too or she'll never get around to it.

Made a CD for my mum with these songs on it:

I just love using the cut )


Edited to add a couple memes, 'cause whiskey tango foxtrot

1) Does my username suit me?
2) Is my journal's title cryptic or descriptive? What do you think it means?
3) Does my journal expand your knowledge of me?
4) Do you think my bio describes me well?
5) Which of my interests surprises you the least?
6) Which of my interests surprises you the most?
7) Which of my interests needs explaining?
8) Which of my userpics suits me best?
9) Which of my userpics suits me least?
10) Which of my userpics needs explaining?


Ask me for "top five" lists of pretty much anything, and I will list you my top five of that thing or things.
xans: Xans (Default)

You are an assassin.
That means you are a proffessional and do your job without mixing any emotions in it. In your life you have probably been hurt many times and have gotten some mental scars. This results in you being distant from people. Though many think that you are evil, you are not. What you really are is a person, trying to forget your pain and past. You are the person who never seems to care and that is why being an assassin fits you good. At least, that's what people think. Even if you don't care that much for your victims, you still have the ability to care and to generally feel. It is not lost, just a little forgotten. In crowds you tend to not get to noticed, and dress in black or other discrete colours. You don't like being in the spotlight and wish people would just leave you alone. But once you do get close to someone you have a hard time letting go and get real down if you loose him/her.

Main weapon: Sniper
Quote: "The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy" -Jim Rohn
Facial expression: Narrowed eyes

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

britt: And that the only reason we PMS is because our uterus is screaming at our brain to go out, get fucked, and have a baby.
britt: and it makes us angry.

How apt.
Hmm. My room is really cold. So I spend all my time hiding from my hallmates in the very warm computer lab studiously not studying. I'm feeling a bit lost at the moment. I'm not sure what I need to do to regain my focus, my sense of direction. Or maybe I am sure, but if I pretend I don't know, then I can pretend I don't have a problem. Which I undeniably do. I just need to kick my arse into gear, and nothing anyone says in form of ass-kicking or encouragement is going to help me. I have to motivate myself. It's almost as if being told by others what I should do/need to do I set my heels in and don't do it, nevermind how utterly detrimental that is.
Speaking of Lost, I had Rhianna tell me who died on the show. And then I saw something else that confirmed it. It was almost amusing, in that having watched Lost on Wednesday I was considering who I thought was a likely candidate, and what do you know? It was. I won't say who, though, for the sake of those who don't know, care, or don't want to know.
I have no more chocolate left. I am a complete and utter pig. By last night all the Hershey's kisses and Milky Way caramels from Rhianna were gone. I finished off the chocolate covered coffee beans from mum earlier this evening as I was reading before House started. I started watching Last Man Standing, but got bored and took a walk. Now I'm here.
I'm craving physical contact. I don't think I've touched anyone in days. Weeks even. Not even casual accidental brushings by in the cramped kitchen touched. I haven't given anyone a hug since the Beach Party way back in February. I'm used to not touching people. I'm not big on physical contact. But sometimes, I need it. Only now I don't have anyone. I think, just maybe, Spike and Crash are going to get to keep me company tonight.
Hmm. I wonder if I'm feeling off because of PMS. I mean, my period did start yesterday. I have been a bit more emotional the last few days. The mere thought of something had me incredibly angry at one point. And now I'm just feeling kind of lonely. That's just wonderful.
I don't know what I want.
Heh. I feel like such a minority right now. I think there's four of us in the lab who're white. I'm doing mathematical equations and figuring out statistics. Categorising. I don't know why. Boredom I suppose. I could do something else. Find something better to write about. Anything to ignore the melancholy feeling I've got. I'm thinking about posting this and getting comments about being loved and adored and missed and I'm thinking that's not the point. That's not why I'm posting this. I'm not asking for accolades and confirmation. I love you, too. That's why I'm letting you know what I'm feeling, but don't feel obligated to pull me up and out of this. I'm gonna be fine, alright? I've been in far worse pits of depression than this.

I really like this song )

Ha! Slight moment of pride as I finally looked up how to do that super small text thing. I will probably start using it a lot from now on. You have been warned.


xans: Xans (Default)
All right, since either no one has seen or simply doesn't watch Stargate Atlantis and it remains the only unguessed one... my favorite character is Dr. Beckett. He's Scottish. The accent kills me dead. I love when he gets all passionate about his work, and how he tries dealing with having to play with the fine line of morals so often. He's also one of the few people who was born with the right genes to operate many of the Ancient's technology. So he gets to be special until they isolate the genes to inject everyone with them. Nyah.

"The person who posted the link to Candybar Dolls should be severly punished." ~[livejournal.com profile] wytch_sansmerci
*whistles innocently*

"I wonder if Captain Planet has green pubic hair..." ~[livejournal.com profile] ireth
*has nightmares from the images*

Well, actually, no I didn't. I had a dream with David Thewlis in it.
I was in my math class (it had to be, my math teacher was sitting on one of the desks) but Thewlis was teaching the class. I was not looking at him as I was afraid he'd disappear ...that, and every time I did look at him, he was looking at me and smirking (and I blushed SO red). The kids were being totally bad but Mr. O wasn't doing anything to discipline them, and Thewlis didn't seem to notice. And then--wierdest part--it's time go, and Thewlis starts singing. His singing voice wasn't all that great, but it wasn't the worst I've heard. And the song? Not even an actual song. I mean, I don't know the tune because it is one that came from Lord of Chaos, by Robert Jordan; part of the Wheel of Time series. (I have the words on hand. That is most likely why it was in the dream)

"We’ll drink the wine till the cup is dry,
and kiss the girls so they’ll not cry,
and toss the dice until we fly
to dance with Jak o’ the Shadows.

We’ll dance all night while the moon runs free,
and dandle the lasses upon our knee,
and then you’ll ride along with me,
to dance with Jak o’ the Shadows.

We’ll sing all night, and drink all day,
and on the girls we’ll spend our pay,
and when it’s gone, then we’ll away,
to dance with Jak o’ the Shadows.

There’re some delight in ale and wine,
and some in girls with ankles fine
but my delight, yes, always mine,
is to dance with Jak o’ the Shadows.

We’ll toss the dice however they fall,
and snuggle the girls be they short or tall,
then follow young Mat whenever he calls,
to dance with Jak o’ the Shadows.

The dream shifted after that and I was working in a lab for one of my science classes, and it was sooooo frustrating. I totally failed that class in the dream. No thanks to my annoying lab partner, who kept asking stupid questions of the instructer instead of doing the work and recording the results and being done on time! He also somewhere in his questions made some comment, I forget the exact words, but the implications were that he was doing all the work on his own, as if I was incompetent and not a good lab partner at all. I should have been mad. I should have ripped him a new one. But dream me was more focused and stressed about getting the work done and didn't react. Still failed the fucking assignment.
And then, later on in the dream it shifted the focus back on Thewlis. I was talking with some people (I don't know who) about David Thewlis and him having a puppy that was being all cute and how it made women fall for him. Because they'd be all, "OMG cute puppy licking his face and it's so adooooorable! *squee* *fangirl* *faint*" Had the most wonderful visual.

A secret should be told to you by: anyone with LJ usernames beginning with A, B, C, D

A compliment should be left by: anyone with LJ usernames beginning with E, F, G, H

However, a complaint about you should be left by: anyone with LJ usernames beginning with I, J, K, L

Some song lyrics should be posted for you to guess, by: anyone with LJ usernames beginning with M, N, O, P

Also, a memory of you should be posted by: anyone with LJ usernames beginning with Q, R, S, T

Ten words that bring you to mind should be posted by: anyone with LJ usernames beginning with U, V, W, X

An "anonymous" comment should be left by: anyone with LJ usernames beginning with Y, Z, numbers, or a _

xans: Xans (Window)
Since when, really, do we actually need to depend on someone else for our happiness? I admit, having someone special is bloody nice. But we don't need them. This sort of dependence on outside sources for happiness is... silly. 'Cause if I can't make myself feel better, how can I expect anyone else to give a shit? (Bright Eyes)
So, in a way, this is the lonliest Valentine's Day I've had yet. Also, the most painful. I mean, who doesn't just love getting up in the morning to be greeted by Aunt Flo? I know this day has a red theme but that's just a little extreme, thank you. The cramps weren't very welcome, either.
Anyway, I didn't particularly feel like commiserating with other single friends (not that I have too many here at the moment.) I'm not really in a 'Boys suck and they should all be castrated!' mood. And I didn't really have a special someone to spend it with. No surprises there. Hamilton is hardly the social capital in the summer when everyone's off home, or at the beach, or anywhere but the City of the Future. I didn't get any gifts, but then, I didn't give any, either. And that's okay.
For all it's been a lonely Valentine's, I didn't really think about it. I mean, I knew Dad and Suzie would be doing something. And that's it. Eileen and I laughed a bit at the news and all the flower delivery stuff. *shrugs* No chocolates, no cards, no flowers, no S.O.'s. Love, romantic love, is hardly central to my life at this point.
I very nearly could have forgotten it was Valentines. But that would mean not reading lj and not watching the news and being oh so anti-social. Yeah, I'm not that anti-Valentines. I don't care too much either way, anymore. I find getting angsty and bitter about it is a bit excessive, really.
Anyway, I hope you have/had a fine Valentine's Day yourself.

xans: Xans (Nothing's Changed)
NZ twelve days of Christmas )

So this is the must un-Christmasy feeling Christmas ever. We--no, I take that back--I decorated our Christmas tree. Yesterday. The day before Christmas.
Slept in until ten thirty this morning when Iain said I should get up so we could go over to Dad's. I was up maybe five minutes before he called to say he'd be around to pick us up on the way back from visiting his friend Carol. So I mucked around 'til then, talking to Kara-May and lazing in Iain's hammock.
Thankfully, my worst fear didn't come true: I'd told both Iain and Dad the title of a book and then worried they'd both buy it. Neither did. From dad I got a mobile phone (like I asked; it's soooo small but awesome), and make-up (again, I asked, since I brought none with me), for no reason whatsoever I got waterballoons, and he also got me a Canteen bandana. (Canteen = teens with cancer; an awareness/charity type thing) Iain got me this journal, and the reason it's so cool is the covers. They must be ceramic or something, but it's made to look like stone and there's a celtic design on the back piece and a bloody intricate and awesome looking dragon on the front cover.
Mum got me a crab decoration. And a pillow sign for my door... one side says, "The Princess is awake" and the other says, "Shhhh... the Princess is sleeping." She also got me a journal and a book centric to Leanne Womack's song "I Hope You Dance" (the book had the CD single in it, too). My aunt and uncle in Australia sent me lipstick. According to Iain it's a nice shade although I'm not partial to pink.
[livejournal.com profile] macjinx sent me stripey toe socks that are v. cute. *grins* And a homemade xmas card. Got one of those from [livejournal.com profile] peaseblossom03 as well that was cool. Art from [livejournal.com profile] miyumiyu and a card some time ago from Jess.
My best friend Andrea gave me a little Buddha charm, a fridge magnet that says, "If assholes could fly... this place would be an airport." She also gave me a book titled "To my Sister" and has all these inspirational quotes and the like. She and I are like sisters, though.
The biggest surprise was a brown paper bag containg things that used to belong to my dad's mum. There were two of those wall things that hold teaspoons. I saw those and went, "Great! I collect teaspoons!" "Do you?" Dad asked, and as I investigated further, found I also got a shoebox full of teaspoons. Fancy that.
And of course we got candy. Yum, chocolate. :D
Merry Christmas!

xans: Xans (Default)

Twas the Night before Xmas and all through the bach,
Not even a weta was making a scratch.
Woolly socks were hung by the pot belly with care,
In the hopes that Santa soon would be there.

The children were snoozing in a light summer's breeze,
Whilst dreaming of spongy pud and lime green cream freeze.
And dad in his walk shorts and me in my jandals,
Had just settled down for a couple of handles.

When out on the lawn I heard such a ruckus,
I sprang from my Lazy Boy to see what the fuss was.
I ran to the sliding door, gasping and wheezing,
Threw open the curtains and upped the venetians.

The moon on the sand and the Trailer tarp,
Lit the beach up just like Eden Park.
But still when I saw, I thought I was asleep,
A miniature Kingswood, pulled by eight tiny sheep.

With a little old driver, sipping a Fanta,
I knew in a moment, it had to be Santa.
Faster than Phar Lap on steroids they came,
And he coo-eed and shouted and called them by name.

Now, Kevin! now, Sharlene! now, Rangi and Beck!
On, Darryl! On Shazza! on, Bilbo and Shrek!
To the top of the Pagoda, to the top of the wall,
Get in behind, Get in behind, Get in behind, All!

As sandflies around a bar-b-que fly,
When they sniff the sizzlers and take to the sky.
So up to the top of the bach they flew,
With a boot full of toys and Santa Claus too.

With a handbrake stop, they arrived on the roof,
Four Goodyear tyres and 32 hoofs.
And as I quickly turned and ran to the lounge,
Out from the chimney Santa came with a bound.

He was wearing boardshorts, and gumboots on foot.
And his Mambos were covered in six-month-old soot.
A bundle of toys he had on his back,
As if on OE with a brand new Macpac.

He looked like he'd come from the beauty parlour,
With rosy red cheeks like pohutakawa.
A gorgeous big grin and white as white hair,
With wee little tufts growing out of his ears.

He had a broad chest and a round beer gut,
That shook when he laughed like Jabba the Hutt.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly hobbit,
And I laughed when I saw him, I couldn't stop it.

He gave me a wink and a bonza thumbs up,
And I quickly realised he wasn't a nut.
He went straight to the socks without saying a thing,
And filled them with barbies and Shrek 2 keyrings.

Then giving his nose a jolly good scratch,
He flew up the chimney with an almighty flash.
He jumped in the Kingswood and cranked the ignition,
And then they took off, like some NASA mission.

But I think I could hear, as he drove out of sight
"Merry Christmas to all, have a bloody good night!

Just wishing )

xans: Xans (Default)
Flight was all right. Food wasn't bad, for once. But I ate pop tarts instead of the offered breakfasts. Watched King Arthur. Didn't care to see any of the other in-flight movies. Played a lot of solitaire. Slept some. We got in at like six in the morning. Spent the whole day feeling like it should be later than it was.
The weather is nice. It's windy but it's not cold wind. I'm finding this a hard concept to adjust to since the winds in Washington were definitely cold. I just might be a little overdressed for a little bit. Everyone here seems to think it's not warm enough yet. *rolls eyes* They know nothing.
My brother has over $60 in change.
I need a mobile phone. I feel like part of the Megatokyo world because of that.
I had forgotten what our old cats looked like. Pearl is smaller and a paler gray than I remembered. Yoda is still pretty and stuff. It was funny that Buddy (Dad's poodle) didn't recognize me until I spoke. Otherwise I was just some stranger that showed up with Dad. Hehe.
Saw the flat I'll be staying at. Raided my brother's CDs.
I started telling him about how once driving home with Little Hen we'd been listening to the radio and heard this British guy rapping. We found it really weird and then absolutely hilarious when this guy went, "Once bitten forever smitten." That was the only thing I remembered about it.
It was more than enough for him to know exactly what song it was and who by. Turns out I've got another of his songs on a CD Iain made me. The Streets. Not nearly so bad then. Hehe.
Watched netball last night, and now rugby is on.
Can't believe I managed to time coming online right enough to catch Celien online. Go me!
Sorry if I'm a little incoherent. I'll stop now.

xans: Xans (Lucius)
Back in July, Rhianna took me to Barnes and Noble to pick out a couple books for my birthday. I immediately set out to the sci-fi section to look for Terry Goodkind stuff. Temple of the Winds. I'd told her about how I had to refrain from laughing out loud in the library when I read the scene in which Richard kills Drefan. It is somewhat... disturbing... that upon picking up the book, I was able to open it within a few pages of said scene, and find the scene to read it right then and there. And I think I could do it again.

In other news, I woke up with Steven Lynch's "Hermaphrodite" stuck in my head this morning.

xans: Xans (Inspired by miyumiyu's Sims2 Snupin)
When everybody is running in the big race
And having a good time
Who am I to cast a shadow
Who am I?
I looked Death in the face last night
I saw him in a mirror
And he simply smiled
He told me not to worry
He told me just to take my time

And if you come to me
And if you touch my hand
I might just slip away
I might just disappear
Who am I?
And if you think I'm worth it
And if you think it's not too late
We might start falling
If we don't try to hard
We might start falling in love

~Onigo Bongo “We close our eyes”

"Living in books is a fairly romantic notion, whether fictional or academic. You're so *dramatic*, Severus, with your dungeon and glares and monochromatic wardrobe and your other endless lines of defense. You're the tragic hero of your own drama. The sooner you acknowledge it's all a form of romanticism, the easier this will be."

So quickly the sky is becoming light. Just over an hour up, but when I finally gave up on the fantasy of sleep it was still dark. Any light was artificial, and too bright. But I couldn't sleep. So I sat and watched the news, and mum handed me her CSI book because, well, I like CSI and she does too. Maybe I will read it today, or maybe I will try to finish Faerie Wars first.
I donated blood on Tuesday, and I wasn't the one who felt nauseus. I find the sight of my blood sort of intriguing, and at the same time, scary. But it's fun to think that maybe there's some vampire out there making Capri Sun of my blood because, well, the pouches of blood make me think it must be so.
We're starting a trend, listing Alan Rickman's nose as an interest. That is, [livejournal.com profile] miyumiyu, [livejournal.com profile] bubblegumkid and I. Miyu was the first. But we're cool like that. But then, just the other night, I randomly titled an entry "I love his hooked beaky nose," and it just went from there.
I need to email Cathy because she wants to stay in touch. I need to email Brit because we want to do something next week. I'll get there. Eventually.
Passing time until I take a shower. Pretty myself up and pass the day restlessly. Chores are done, postcard for Shanny and CDs for Julia off in the mail sometime later today I guess. I worked on them last night.
I'm not sleeping well again. My dreams are vivid, for a while it seemed so real last night. I wake up because I'm too hot, too cold, too uncomfortable. I'm hungry, or thirsty, or my bladder lies and says it's full. I try not to stay up all hours, to keep out of that bad habit. I find myself up earlier and earlier as sleep shies away from me. I have no motivation.
Read, read, read. Lose myself in the words. Forget to write. Forget to speak. Forget about the world. Miss my friends. Fear of the future. It looms. I don't know what to do.
Speak, child.

"It's wonderful to have someone touch you again, isn't it? You don't realize how touch-starved you've become, until someone touches you. Maybe they don't even mean to, maybe they just brush their hand against yours as they pass by, but it's enough to set off the craving. It's enough to make you realize how long it's been since someone has touched you, even in just a casual, friendly way, and how much you want to be touched."

I crave a companion all of my own. No matter. In time.

xans: Xans (Temptation)

I crawl to you,
And I fall at your feet,
I'd howl at your beauty,
Like a dog in heat,
I'd claw at your heart,
I'd tear at your sheets,
I'd say please.
I'm your man.
The moon's too bright,
The chain's too tight,
The beast won't go to sleep.

(thanks [livejournal.com profile] wytch_sansmerci for the lyrics) Btw, wytch, any luck with finding a way to get those slasher pics to me? I don't know why they hate me so much...
And [livejournal.com profile] virginhuntress, have you forgotten about my pic? Just a little reminder, not that I need it urgently, I'd just like it soon. I don't always get what I want when I want but hey I can try.
*goes off to read more Megatokyo comics*



Aug. 2nd, 2004 07:09 pm
xans: Xans (Temptation)

Ottava rima? Me? That can't be right!
   Too frivolous? But tut, there's no such thing!
Let others ponder thoughts of wrong and right,
   Or sit and think how much they love the spring;
I'd rather spend my time in gleeful spite,
   Or maybe laugh, or maybe sit and sing.
Besides, it might be fun to be inspiring -
But surely it would get so very tiring.
What Poetry Form Are You?

Your LJ RPG Team
LJ Username
Favorite Color
Weapon of Choice
Your Partner yohoboho
Your Warrior tasar_nualda
The Giggly, Flirtatious Magic User with Big Breasts peaseblossom03
The Talking Animal mister_chris
Main Archenemy pillu
Evil Incarnate shiseiji
This Quiz by ass_ - Taken 91903 Times.
New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology and Horoscopes

Take the quiz: "What do you love about making love?"

You are in it for the Lust. Its all about the passion and how good they are in bed. Though you aren't necessarily a woman/man whore, you know your way around the bedroom, be proud of that accomplisment! Godspeed!

My period just started, but I'm kind of horny. I think it has to do with the book I'm reading. It's called Snow White, Blood Red. It's a collection of fairy tales, sort of adaptions of the well known ones... anyway, the last couple ones I read were kind of erotic. In a sick and twisted way. Why couldn't I just get addicted to normal smut like those serial romances? Nooo, I have to have fantasy based stories, or slash, or screwed up fanfictions. Or it needs vampires. Vampires and sex is so... I don't know. I don't think I care to explore that further.
Ahhh, I like cherries. I think I need to complain, though. My choice of drinks is low. Water. Milk. Soda. Not much of a selection. Soda doesn't really hydrate. Water is plain. Too much milk is a bad thing. It does help get ibuprofin down though. Cherry Coke is nice though. I just want something tasy like juice. Speaking of which... need to check out Lynds' journal. Sorry, when I think juice, I think orange juice, and when I think of orange juice I think of Lynds. I miss her.
Am going to help Rhi for the rest of this week with little tykes. Fifteen five year olds to baby sit at vacation bible school. Oh woo, wee, yay! I'm going to die. Ah, well, what's to lose? My bad language, for sure.
And I get to see Brit tomorrow! I haven't seen her in a while. We haven't spoken often enough. It will be cool to hang out. Watch some movies, eat some food, listen to music, play games...? Who knows. It will be fun nonetheless.
Hmmm... need to trim nails...

My life goes on in endless song
above earth's lamentations,
I hear the real, though far-off hymn
that hails a new creation.

Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear its music ringing,
it sounds an echo in my soul.
How can I keep from singing?

While though the tempest loudly roars,
I hear the truth it liveth.
And though the darkness 'round me close,
songs in the night it giveth.

No storm can shake my inmost calm
While to that rock I'm clinging.
Since love is lord of heaven and earth,
how can I keep from singing?

When tyrants tremble in their fear
and hear their death knell ringing,
when friends rejoice both far and near
how can I keep from singing?

In prison cell and dungeon vile
our thoughts to them are winging,
when friends by shame are undefiled
how can I keep from singing?

~Enya, "How can I keep from singing?" Shepherd Moons

xans: Xans (Xanthia)
Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...breath taking
Your hugs are...to die for
Your eyes...light up a day
Your touch is...irresistable
Your smell is...amazing
Your smile is...amazing
Your love is...eternal
Quiz created with MemeGen!

LJ Username
Your Undies
Who will see you in them yohoboho
Who wants to see you in them yohoboho
Who will steal them object_fixation
This cool quiz by lovely_mouse - Taken 24299 Times.
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So yesterday was the Lee Plantation Barbeque. Mum's friends, the Lee family, hold a barbeque once every year. I've been to two. This was my second. It was all right, but only because I sat in a comfy chair in the garage and read Naked Empire. At Grandma Bloom's as Gary worked on her little lighting problem, I read some more. I read a lot, determined to finish Naked Empire. As my last entry proves, I did.
Today is mum's birthday. She had a few messages on the phone from friends in New Zealand and Australia calling in to wish her well and chat. Unfortunately we were gone. *meh* Then she and I went to Gig Harbor today. She's never been there. We got lost a couple of times, but it was cool. I found this journal in a store that I ~knew~ she'd get for me. It's got the lyrics to "I Hope you Dance" in it, and stuff, and she always connects that song to Iain and me. So now all she needs to do is get the CD to go with it. *grins*

xans: Xans (Xanthia)
You're right Rhi, not all of it was English )

I was flashed by Rhianna today. Did not expect that. And then she wanted me to check out the scratch on her breast that she got when swimming. I remained steadfastly staring out a window.
Also borrowing her two volumes of MegaTokyo comics. Sure, I've read them online, but this is a nice way to be able to sit up late at night comfy in bed and read said comics. It also doesn't take forever to load. Speaking of comics, RHI!!!!! The link to that one with the Flaming Prince, and the TechnoMage, and all that.
It's late, and I don't know that I'm going to stay up 'til one like I have been. It's that desire to watch Daria. *grins*

xans: Xans (Temptation)
Yesterday [livejournal.com profile] peaseblossom03 posted this song in her CoE journal for another girl there. But I thought it was funny, and since today's my birthday...

Happy Birthday Viking Style )

xans: Xans (Toss the Dice (WoT freak!))
First of all, I'm happy because LJ let me read and comment on Shanny's journal. It usually gives me an illegal operation. Secondly, I found Hen's Anime Style to be uncannily accurate, and then I got mine. This is it:
Generate your Anime Style by Jena-su
Hair:Naturally multi-coloured.
Clothes:Leather, belts, chains, bondage pants, collars, and tight shirts.
Powers:Psychic powers
Special Features:Wolf ears and tail
Sidekick:Small fluffy animal that talks...usually too much.
Attitude:Extremely smart, very quiet.
Weapon:Over-sized paper fan.
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Me? Think so? I do.
I finished two books today, and started two books today. Which means I finished Blackwood Farm, and started The Dragonslayer's Apprentice (took me one and a half periods to read it) and then I started A Wizard's First Rule. For that, I spent the first chapter wondering when Richard was going to do something about the thorn in his hand. I know it's going to come into play very shortly, but still. How does one just ignore the fact there's a thorn burrowing in one's hand? Because a pretty woman is being stalked? Oh me, oh my.
Yes, Biz, I cannot wait to read any and all torture scenes.
Ali did call earlier to ask me if I wanted to see the school play (Oliver) but alas, I'm flat broke. Also, mum's did the shopping and I'm the brawn that brings it all in. I don't mind. Instead I spent my afternoon unexpectedly watching Interview With the Vampire, simply because I couldn't remember what music videos were on the same disc as it, and how could I not watch it then?
Wow, I feel incredibly manic.
Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset
You're manic or you're depressed
Sunrise, sunset
Will you ever be okay?

(I might be slightly off on the lyrics; I'm going on memory here, all right?)

"If I could have any job in the world I'd be a professional Cinderella." Girl, Interrupted.

I have no idol. I worship no one. I am the cause of your screams, the source of your nightmares, the fire on your soul, the...hey, why am I telling YOU all this? Now I shall be forced to kill you. Such a pity. ~part of a "quiz" in a girl's journal. Very amusing.

xans: Xans (Drama Queen ~Lynds (gj))
[livejournal.com profile] yohoboho and [livejournal.com profile] enders_lament need to add each other simply because they both love Bright Eyes. And Biz you needa make that CD for me. Jeez.

Choose a band and answer all questions only with their lyrics:

Band: Everclear

Are you male or female?:
She is perfect in that fucked up way
That all the magazines seem to want to glorify these days
She looks like a teenage anthem
She looks like she used to be happy with the girl inside

Describe yourself:
I am a loser geek, crazy with an evil streak

How do some people feel about you?:
Yeah, I used to be a devil but they never seemed to give a damn

How do you feel about yourself?:
She said, I'm OK, don't worry about me
I don't want to be friends
Just leave me alone
Don't worry about me

Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest:
I have sinned the sin of wanting more
The belly fire pulls the spirit from the corporate whore

Where would you rather be?:
So spin that wheel, cut the crap, and roll those loaded dice
Bring on the dancin' girls and put the champagne on ice
I'm going in to sin city
I'm gonna win in sin city

Describe where you live:
She sleeps alone and wet with her phone in her face all tied up in her old bed,
She walks alone everyday up and down the rainy streets in her own weird way

Describe how you live:
I don't care
I just want to die pretty
I just want to get lost in the motion
I just want to get lost in my beautiful self
I just want to get lost in the city
I don't want to live forever

Describe how you love:
She gets tired of all the stupid boys
She can't wait until they're done
She wants a man who can take his time
She wants someone who can make her come

Describe a past love:
Can you believe he said that to me?
To me, of all people! I can't even remember the last time a guy took me out on a date and actually paid for it!?

Share some words of wisdom:
"Today, medical science recognizes
That some folks aren't helped by relaxing exercizes.
In cases of difficult tension,
And nervous apprehension,
Doctors are now prescribing medicine.
It makes those who fear they're about to quit
Feel like they're ready to begin.
Bidding their darkened spirits goodbye
For the calming peace of a cloudless sky."
Yesterday I reached the epitome of nerdiness in purchasing my own set of D&D dice, and making sure I had at least 5 d4's in case I'm ever so board as to play pyramid Yahtzee!. And then we ran into Hen (which made buying her a d6 like she asked seem pointless). She and I searched for the love of her life, although I had to suggest it had just been her imagination, since we couldn't find him.
After watching Rhi's car and truck, and Hen's car we watched Caddyshack followed by Meatballs. It was a lot of fun, and I got home so much later than I expected. Mum of course wanted to know if I had any homework. *rolls eyes* I hate homework. No, I just hate the Great Gatsby.
Mum seems to think I'll be able to find a new meaning to it this time around. I told her not bloody likely. The first time I read the Great Gatsby, I read it with an open mind, and nearly died of boredom. Oh, how I hate it.
Why is it, in Memnoch the Devil, when Lestat screams at the granite devil statue, I always get the impression he screams like a girl?

What will your last words be? by cum_on_bitch
Your LJ username
Your real name
Your sex
Your age
Your last words will be..."FUCK YOU!"
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

xans: Xans (Default)

A Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked he'd drunk more than his share
He staggered on until he could no longer keep his feet
Then stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

cho: Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Later on two young and lovely girls just happened by,
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
You see yon sleeping Scotsman who is young and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt.

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt.

They crept up to the sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Then lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Ws nothing but what God had graced him with upon his birth

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
There was nothing there but what God gave upon his birth

They marveled for a moment then one said we'd best be gone
But let's leave a present for our friend before we move along
They took a blue silk ribbon and they tied it in a bow
Around the bonnie spar that the Scot's lifted kilt did show

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
Around the bonnie spar that the Scot's lifted kilt did show

The Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward a tree
Behind a bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees
Then in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
He said, "Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won
first prize!"

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
He said, "Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize!"

xans: Xans (Drama Queen ~Lynds (gj))
*sings* Couldn't get away.

Today was awesome. It was the day for me. I felt loved. I felt appreciated. I also got a trifle upset. But it's survivable.
This morning I was so on top of things that I managed to have a bunch of time to kill before we left. So what did I do? I got online. Didn't do too much but it was time consuming nonetheless.
Mum, I think, wanted to have a conversation on the way to school but I cut it short with my music listening. What can I say? It's a new CD. Unfortunately, at shcool, half-way through Meredith Brook's "Bitch" the CD crapped out. Well, no, the CD didn't. And the batteries didn't. But the laser did. It decided to be a pissy mofo and not read the CD anymore. Oh, it'll read other CDs (found that out after school), but not THIS one. That upset me.
I don't really like first period, being P.E. and all, plus today being lecture day. But once again, I survived. Things were going okay, except that of course, people noticed me carrying a container with a piece of chocolate cake (with mint choc frosting) in it. And then my diet came into question.
That pissed me off. For one thing, there was my sandwich: peanutbutter and cheese. You heard me. Peanutbutter and cheese. Not ver common, I know. In fact, to many, a trifle gross. But then, I don't like pumpkin pie, but you don't see me condemning people for eathing that, do you? Then there's the fact that most of my lunch was rather unhealty. Well, it's not like I eat junk food 24/7. Even then, yes, I can eat a lot with no ill effects. Why? High metabolism. Have you seen me?! I'm SKINNY. So yeah, I can pull it off. I'm not worried about my weight (yes I am. I wish I weighed MORE). So who cares if I don't eat 'best'? Let me do it while I can, and leave me alone, damn you.
Yeah, I have to rant a few times to get that out of my system. Still, my day picked up after that so it's all good.
For one thing, there was fifth period. Every Friday (or Thursday if we have no school Friday) we choose a person to be Student of the Week. He or she gets to sit in the comfy chairs all week. Well... I got nominated, and it went a little like this:
Thomas (current Student of the Week): I'd like to nominate this gal next to me--
Quinn (the teacher): Hang on, what did you say?
Thomas: I'd like to nominate this gal next to me...
Quinn: Oh. Her name's Hana, by the way.
Thomas: I know. Anyway, she always puts her two cents in when we have the class discussions, and all this week when I've been sitting next to her she's been doing her work when she should...
Quinn: Okay, good enough. Anyone else to be nominated?
After that, Jusin, Brent, and Jerrod were also nominated. We all covered our eyes and the voting began. The old way used to be that those nominated would go outside while people voted, and then came back in to hear who one (none knowing by how many votes though, so as to make those who didn't get many or any not feel bad). The New method's different. We cover our eyes, Quinn says, "Who wants to vote for--" and then he indicates a person with a gesture. Anyway, when it was over, he announced that it was me. My response, a not very enthastic, but jubilant, "Yay."
It was funny when I was walking out of the class with Matt. He said to me, "That was the one and only time I'll ever vote," and my reply was, "Gee, need I ask who you voted for?" It was pretty clear. I'm about the only person in that class he gets along with, and would be motivated enough to vote for. I also said, "Unless I get nominated again, right?" I'm sure if I'm ever nominated a second time (quite possible, happened for Justin and Jerrod today), he'll vote for me.
I got to deal with my first paper jam during sixth. I had to do some photocopying, and it was actually working whenI got there. I really hate it when machines don't work. I prevailed, had help, and finished the job though. Then I got to hit up CoE while I was in the class as I had no other errands to run. I felt glad I wasn't part of the actual class. I know from listening to Carvahlo that my class was never as bad on such a daily basis.



Mar. 1st, 2004 08:00 pm
xans: Xans (Default)
This just pisses me off. Unlike most nights, I've waited until nearly seven before coming online. But once mum realized I was online, she told me to get off. Apparently we're expecting a call. For crying out loud, if he was going to call he would have called already! THAT's why I waited. But apparently I didn't wait long enough. But no, instead of telling me to get off so she could call him, it's wait until he calls.
No. I don't want to. I only get three hours when I can have free reign of the internet, and that's usually interrupted by dinner. She always kicks me off at nine, so this is cutting into my 'net time. But she never lets me cut into her 'net time. *snarls*
*sighs* But I'm still the child in this house, so I mush obey. Gah. I hate my mother sometimes. But heaven forbid I tell her to change. Heaven forbid I tell her she's wrong.
I mean, we've got this new house. And of all the things, there would be a day every couple of weeks where she would have me help her clean up the building site. *bangs head against the keyboard* It's a building site. It's SUPPOSED to be messy. Or, Gary's rule was that the windowsill in the living room be free and clear of itty bitty bits and ornaments. Less than a month in the house and there's one already there. I told mum Gary wanted none there. Her response, "Well, we just won't point it out to him then." I pointed it out to Gary. He moved it. She moved it back. When he noticed, he went to move it again, and she snapped at him. Told him it was the only thing she wanted on the window sill, because there it caught the light. It can't catch the light if it's up on a shelf.
Then, there's her organization of the kitchen. We have cupboards with glass in them so you can see into them, so what do I see in most of them? Her pretty special plates and glasses. All the food is in the fridge or the pantry, taking up more space than it needs to in there. We have these open shelves where I would think it proper to put the mugs as it's right above the coffee machine, but instead it's got all her recipe books (that she rarely touches) and more 'special' dishes. It's all very well and good to have them, but she's just not very practical at all. We have several kitchen gadgets that she almost never uses but was given or found at a bargain price.
That's the thing about her. She always goes for the bargain price. She doesn't look at brand names, she looks at price. Nevermind that sometimes, the good quality costs a few cents more. It took her nearly five years to realize the only chili con carne Gary wants is Nalley's Thick. She still can't get it right about the cheese sticks I like. Then there's cookies. Gary and I like one kind only: chocolate chip. Oh, wait, Oreos too. But she's always getting this or that one that's all cheaper and then sit in the cookie jar for two months before somebody dumps them out.
Gods, I remember how annoyed I was when we were moving stuff. I had to go through the food cabinets, and found so many things I had to throw away. Then there were all the canned goods. And, a lot of them were not only past their use by date, but they were cans NO ONE was ever going to use. We have a tonne of cans of chicken or beef broth that mum claims to eat but I have yet to see her do so. She once got a thing of lime jello that I wouldn't touch, she said she would, and then never did.
I could go on with her weird little quirks that get on my nerves. I abhor her collection of itty bitty bits, and her crafts. I mean, I have my itty bitty bits, and my little artistic enterprises, but... I try to keep to two or three topics and that's it. I only have one or two hobby/craft things. She has about ten different crafts (and many books about them), and every flat space has at least one of her little ornaments.
I think I've done enough.
In other news, one of my classmates told me I chose well with my crush. He really is quite good looking as well just fun to hang around with. Rhianna had to avoid looking at me after fifth when I was talking to him because she knew she'd just have a huge grin on her face.
Timed write in fifth period sucked. I'm sure I did okay, but it was just annoying.
*blinks and looks around* I wonder where my Diablo game is? I haven't seen it since a week before the move. I miss slaying demons with my saucy little Rogue.

I close my eyes and make a wish for
Inner peace and tranquillity inside
My mind I feel it's changing
Breaking down the defences of my heart
It's like a new adventure
And this is my life
No longer know the girl inside
The stranger in my mind

Delta Goodrem - Running Away

xans: Xans (Eyes and Ears)
Take it from me
There's a wall you can't breach
With pretty words they sound absurd like
Cheap philosophy

It doesn't feel like a Thursday. And... I'm really hungry. *snacks on Saltine crackers*

I stepped through it clean
And the scars show no more
What's then was the and now is when I
Choose to ignore

The sun was pale and held no warmth. It was like winter had already settled in, nevermind that the leaves of autumn still dominate the ground. Still, I keep hoping for the clouds to grow heavy, the temperature to drop, and the flakes to settle in flurries of pure white.

Smiles are made of accolades that don't
Belong to me
Slowburn slowburn

I was watching Half Past Dead yesterday. I couldn't stand the sound track. But what really threw me off was Steven Segall trying to pull of the white guy trying to be black. He just cannot do it. And then there was the chick with loads of blue eye shadow... they obviously had fun developing her costume, and made her something of a Trinity-gone-bad. Still, she appealed to me with her ice queenliness and the fact that even after all the guns and kung fu shit, she was all about the knife. Nevermind that it got her killed. But there was at least one phrase in Spanish I'm glad mum wasn't there to ask me, "What does that mean, Hana?"

All the while you learn
All the while
Believe me when I say

I wish I knew how to get past the firewalls at school to go on livejournal. Meh, I don't really care to find out. I don't understand why livejournal is blocked, while typing in fuck.com will not bring up surfalert. If they don't want us to check our emails, why don't they block hotmail, too?

It's a hard pill to take
My second skin is wearing thin my
Polished visage aches

Talking to Lait on yahoo last night was cool. Sure, I'd swapped comments with her on her livejournal, or at CoE and we'd sent PMs back and forth... but this was instant one-to-one and was both nerve wracking and exhilerating. I'm somewhat intimidated by Lait. I think it's because through all of her writing, she's such a strong woman... nevermind all the problems she faces, she still manages to do things, and her writing is just... brilliant. Here is a woman 10 years older than me that I find myself wanting to emulate.

It's not the fact I'm a part of that
It's the thought I'm part of this

My English essay is done. I had to work on it a lot last night, and then today in third period and at lunch. I didn't realize she was giving us time in class to work on them, too. Nevermind, it's done, over, and I hope I get a good grade on it.

Behave like someone-else and I'm doing
It naturally
One way is not enough but I keep it to

Now I'm thirsty. A Cherry Coke would be really nice right about now. We don't have any though. Just Black Cherry soda or apple juice. Both pretty good, really. I think this is enough rambling for one night.

They're for no one else
I keep it to myself
I keep it to myself


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