xans | Entries tagged with break-ups

Any single girls interested in a trip to Bangkok? Poor Glenn here has been given a bunch of air miles for doing some work for this travel agency. He had plans to hit up Thailand this year with Lynn--'cept she went and broke up with him. So poor 39 y/o male in desperate need of female company on trip. Or something.

Poor man.

Fin.

Current Mood: silly
Current Music: Kojak

So, I had this dream. Well, you know me--I dream, or rather, I remember my dreams in fairly vivid detail quite often. Well, there was one I had last night that I found rather strange. Not as in, it was so totally on crack strange, but more... well, it was just kinda odd. Now in my dream, it was Wednesday and I'd gone to meet up with Grant (because we are, in fact, going to meet up tomorrow and figure out "something social to do..." *snickers* I love me some gutter mind at a time like this), although in my dream we met up in the evening, not the afternoon as is currently planned. And that was going well. Whatever it was we ended up doing, we were enjoying ourselves.

And then, we're walking along fairly aimlessly in The City* when Aston shows up. I'm all, "Oh my God! What're you doing here?!" And, like, these friends of Grant's show up and they all already know Aston--in my dream I wasn't surprised, because Aston could be quite loud and memorable from our stints out on the town with all Rowena's Crew, way back in February and March.

*The City is not an actual town, really, but rather my mind's strange culmulation of city-esque features and I dream of this place often, sort of like when I dream about old schools or houses that aren't quite as they are in reality, but my brain has twisted them somehow. So, we were in The City, and all that jazz...

Now, somehow I'd hurt my knee and Grant had wrapped it up in a bandage... and this group of us are just sitting and standing around on this footpath and I decide to go over and talk to Aston. I want to ask him all sorts of questions like, had he gone to the World Cup in Germany? What's he been up to these last months? And why the hell is he still in NZ? I had a drink with me, just a glass of water, but I spilled it and I sat down and got my bandage soaked. "Shit," I said. And he asks in this annoyed/bitter tone, "Why do I always have to take care of you?"

Well, I'm hurt. And confused. I reply a tad defensively, "I have never asked you to take care of me. I'm not asking you to now." I decided that if he was going to be like that, bugger trying to caatch up,a nd i walk off through the groupe to find Grant again, since he's bound to be better company than an old fling being a prick for no reason.

So that was my dream. Weird shit.

Fin.

Current Mood: thoughtful

If I see Anthony I am going to give him hell. That selfish, uncompromising, manipulative cunt. How dare he try to make her feel guilty?! Ass. Bloody fucking stupid cunthead. Stay away from Liz or I'll have your guts for garters. I'm not gonna let you fuck with her head.

Fin.

Current Mood: predatory
Current Music: Jimmy Eat World - "Bleed American"

Yesterday was totally Haunting of the Ex-es day. Not only did I get texted out of the blue from Adrian, who was "feeling chatty", but when Liz was out flat-hunting she ran into Peter.

Oooooh I am still angry with him.

It's been two months. Still pissed. Argh! *urge to maim, kill, and hide the evidence*

I mean, it was the most pathetic break-up. And I don't know just WHY he went cold on me all of a sudden. It wouldn't be nearly so bad if it wasn't just unresolved like that. Part of me is afraid that if I ever find out it will hurt even worse, but the rest of me seriously doubts that. I don't like not knowing worse that I fear the unknown.

Peter you utter, utter bastard! May the fleas of a thousand camels feast upon your lower extremeties. I hope your next girlfriend gives you rabies.

Fin.

Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: Semisonic - "Girlfriend"

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Holy mother of fuck! Yes, I play Hexic FAR too much. I know. Shut up.
Mmm, speaking of fucking, Vanessa found me today to say Konrad would love to go on a date with me, if I'm interested. I have to think about this. Do I really want to work with the bad kisser? And teach him how to kiss better? I don't know. I'm worried he's going to get all devoted on me.
Also in the world of relationships, I caught Lynds on MSN today, for once in ages. But she's rather depressed as she's recently broke up with her boy. So, I'm going to email her soon. Let her know how my life's been and all that, express my sympathy some more. Liz's boyfriend broke up with her recently, too, which makes me sad to hear of two rather long-lasting relationships end around the same time. Although Liz apparently has a chance at getting back with Anthony. I don't know the details of Lyndsay's break-up.
Mum was rather upset today, too. One of our cats, the black one, The Princess, has gone missing. Has been for several days. Thing was, they've seen a coyote around the area. And then my cat, Sam, also disappeared. Mum thought for sure, of all the cats, the one most likely to lose to a predator would be Marbles, who appears to only be confused and a little more vocal than usual. Thankfully, Sam came home. So there's only Mama Cat missing. This is still rather sad, but not nearly so bad as losing two cats within one week.

Fin.

Current Mood: Over the fucking MOON!
Current Music: "Shelob's Lair" RoTK soundtrack.

( On crying )

Last night was the Resident's Ball. Was rather looking forward to it, along with every other girl in the hall. I mean, I had a dress already, and hell, I managed to score a date! And it was going to be great. It was amusing as hell, sitting around watching the girls get ready. Kate and Kirsti did the hair styling for most the girls. And Victoria was doing make-up for people. And the girls were being girly and vastly amusing a moi. It took maybe ten minutes for me to get ready.
Mostly I had a good night. But I could have kicked Adrian if only I'd been more angry. I felt so mellow and unaffected, but still hurt. And had a fun time despite it.
We all headed down to the bus stop--I hadn't heard from Adrian so I figured I would see him there at the v. least--to catch the first bus at 7. And we get to the Awapuni Raceway, and get through with all the coat checks, pictures, bathroom runs, and have drinks and our chairs set up for a good view to watch the rugby. Yes, the first 80 minutes most everyone was sitting or standing around focused on the TV for the game. Which, yay, the All Blacks won.
But I got ditched by Adrian. Something about how he found out a couple days ago that he got into the navy and would be leaving in a few weeks. Because, y'know, it's impossible to just have a good time together until then or something. And he just wanted to have a few drinks with his mates. I couldn't even find it in myself to get angry. Had a moment of weakness when he left me to my own devices and a bout of involuntary tears decided to have fun. Gah. Took a bit, but once I got past the worst of it I went off to find the girls again and have a good night with them.
And I did have a good time anyway. Even went into town for a couple of hours with Shan at about 12:30ish. These girls in the line to Highflyers bought me a rose from this lady selling them after they heard how I got ditched. And Shan bought me one as well. So I've got two roses in a mug of water in my room. They're a bit beat up, having been in my possession as I danced in Highflyers and in this other place where Shan's friends had been. One of those friends, Shan and I went off to Subway, missed the 2:30 bus, and ended up catching a taxi home... just barely beating Annalise, Victoria, Kate and Sarah coming back from town as well.

And now, on to more interesting memes!

The Rules
First, write down the names of 12 characters. Then read and answer the questions. You can't look at the questions (or click on the cut) until you write down the 12 characters you're going to use.

01. Linden Rathan
02. Min
03. Kahlan Amnell
04. Legolas Greenleaf
05. Azirphale
06. Regulus Black
07. Karigan G'ladheon
08. Robinton
09. Selendrile
10. Muggles
11. Marius
12. Aubery

(I love how I managed to not repeat a single fandom)

( And you click this once you have your twelve )

I've been so tired today. I was talking to mum and I kept making typos or missing words entirely. I was thinking complete sentences, but they weren't being typed as such. She's sent me a parcel (containing pretty lingerie, yay!) that will arrive soon hopefully.
In a discussion in

support_hp about finding people reminding you of a particular character, and I mentioned this: "There's also this Asian kid, who has spiky black hair and glasses, that gives me James vibes. The only thing I hate is one time I was sitting next to him in the computer lab, and he continuously jiggled his leg, and the sound of his pants rubbing was really annoying." which gave

simple__man this bunny: "There's a fic in that, the annoyance of James' pants rubbing driving Remus to DISTRACTION in the library..."
And now I want to write it.

Fin.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: bleargh

I officially gave Peter the boot. No response. This might be because I did it over text, but considering he was avoiding me pretty much, it was going to be a mission to see him to break up with him. What a pussy bitch. I'm severly disappointed in how he handled this. Quite honestly I prefer if a guy is straight upfront about ditching me. It might sting, but it's quick and eventually I'll respect him for it. If it gets drawn out or he uses pretty words to spare my feelings, I'm going to end up more pissed off and vengeful than if he'd just said, "Listen, I don't us want to be together anymore."
So I went out last night, a free and independant woman, with Sarah, Victoria, and Annalise. It was really cool; we were the only people on that bus into town, and we had TWO security guards. And when we got there we managed to persuade the Scarfies guy to give us two free drink tickets instead of one, and give us a ride to Scarfies itself. For some reason, my order of a double bourban and coke was... misheard? Because I got given a beer. It was nice beer, but still. Wtf?
We all went and played pool (Annalise & Victoria vs. me & Sarah). And we stuck to vodka drinks for the rest of the night like Sarah. In the first game Sarah pulled off this brilliant move that sunk three balls in one go. I screwed up at one point and sunk one of the wrong balls on accident. We lost that one. And then in the next game we almost had our asses thrashed but we managed to catch up so the loss wasn't nearly as painful as it could have been. At one point I figured I really need to trim my nails as when I snatched Vic away from distracting Sarah I accidentally stabbed her. But then Victoria and Annalise wanted to dance, and I didn't want to risk having my ass kicked by playing Sarah alone.
Unfortunately for Vic and Annalise the dance floor wasn't open yet (for some reason they only seem to open it a few minutes before the first round in the body painting comp. This makes the rest of the place really crowded) so they went out to have a smoke. While getting a drink I spotted my friend Liz but then I couldn't find her to talk to her once I had my drink. Wandering around with Sarah for a little bit until the dance floor opened up where we met up with Liz and her friend Mel. And Annalise and Victoria found us.
Sometime after when we got bored with dancing, lost track of Annalise and Vic, and didn't really want to wait around to see all the body painting contestants (haha, I ran into one of the girls who painted me and we consulted on a new idea since the other idea I'd had got used by someone else), well, Sarah and I disappeared out back to the pool tables again. It was really quite amusing and kinda scary how these two guys quickly came and sat opposite us at the table we were at.
Ended up in another game of pool, this time it was me and one of the guys (Adrian, who bought me a drink, who totally had his eyes on me, who only turned 18 nearly five months ago...) against Sarah and if I knew his name, I completely forgot. We lost, but I sunk a lot more balls than usual--amusing and strange, given my inebriation--and never sunk the white in any of the games I played. And then Annalise, Vic, Sarah, the guy she was hanging with, Adrian and I all wandered off. We ended up in Diablos.
And then Adrian and I lost track of the others (don't look at me like that. :P) but we ended up meeting a few of his friends outside later and all of us walked home. It was really cold last night. But at some point I took of my shoes. My laces had come loose on one shoe and when I went to untie them they knotted, so I was said "screw that!" and took them off. I was all right for a while, but eventually I slipped them back on.
I was too wired to go to bed immediately so I came into the comp lab (where there were still two people, ha) and messed around for a little bit. I almost made a drunken post but decided not to. Did make a drunken comment but I took care and I think there was only one error that I didn't fix. Finally I felt tired enough that I pretty much passed out. I was really cold though, despite all my blankets, the heater, and wearing a sweater and socks to bed (which I don't usually, because I get too hot in the night). Ehh. Woke up early enough.

Fin.

Current Mood: mellow
Current Music: nahnahnahnahna...

Henry: Do you really think there is only one perfect mate?
Leonardo da Vinci: As a matter of fact, I do.
Henry: Well then how can you be certain to find them? And if you do finally find them, are they really the one for you or do you only think they are? And what happens if the person you're supposed to be with never appears, or she does, but you're too distracted to notice?
Leonardo da Vinci: You learn to pay attention.
Henry: Then let's say God puts two people on Earth and they are lucky enough to find one another. But one of them gets hit by lightning. Well then what? Is that it? Or, perchance, you meet someone new and marry all over again. Is that the lady you're supposed to be with or was it the first? And if so, when the two of them were walking side by side were they both the one for you and you just happened to meet the first one first or was the second one supposed to be first? And is everything just chance or are some things meant to be?

I recently spoke to a friend of mine with whom I had no conversed with in a while. Apparently she's got a new boyfriend, and he's THE ONE, her soulmate, she's felt complete since she met him, etc., etc., ad nasuem. I'd be more happy for her, if I weren't so bloody doubtful. Having not spoken in some time, I thought, oh, this happened months ago. No. This happened a week and a half ago, and thus enters my doubt and disbelief. I just... I have a hard time believing in people my age (especially girls; they'll be the soonest to claim it) having found The One. No matter how romantic he's being.

That is not to suggest it's not possible. Indeed not. I stongly believe in, say,

shiseiji and Matt being an excellent match please, please, please be okay, and both are younger than I. They've also been together at least two to two & a half years and been reasonably stable throughout. If they said they were meant to be, they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together, I'd say finally! However, I wouldn't say it if they'd announced that a week into their relationship.

It just seems to me that many girls my age seem to claim that they've found love and he loves her so much, he must be the one... I mean, shit, I fell in love once. Got my heart broken even. But, I don't think I ever believed Judah was The One omgsquee4eva!!!!11!! or that we'd end up getting married and spending the rest of our lives together. (Funnily enough, he was married by the time he was 20 to the girl he chose over me) I think it takes more time than a lot of people take, to be sure of one's feelings about a relationship, or that it's 'meant to be.' How can anyone truly claim to love, to be in love, with someone that they've been with and known for only a short time? It's awfully extreme. One of the things I hated when I was with Jason back when we were 14 was how quickly he started saying, "I love you" and how I felt pressured to reply the same even though I knew I most certainly did not.

I despise the word love sometimes, or how easily it gets misused and misunderstood. Not to mention the many different types of love--there really ought to be more words to descibe them, like how the Greeks had the three words for it. If it's not misunderstanding when using the word love in a non-romantic sense (like

pandoras_evil_t specifying she loves me as a sister), saying you don't love someone often gets such a wrong reaction too. As if it's impossible to merely like someone to varying degrees, lesser than those of love.

If I were to say that I don't love Peter--and I don't...yet--I'd have to expand that statement to include the facts that I do like him--a lot--and that yes, there could be a possiblity that one day I might love him, or I'd sound like a heartless bitch undeserving of his attention. (I struggle with believing he'll give me any attention, deserved or undeserved shh... ignore my insecurities and fear of rejection.) Though, I'm sure I'd rather come off sounding heartless and undeserving, than be another headless chicken proclaiming to the heavens that, oh beauty divine, joy of joys, love hath found me, and forever may it last.

Such sappiness, especially this early on, is unbecoming. What am I saying? May I never, no matter how enthralled I may become, never sound so sooky and wet.

Fin.

Current Mood: moody
Current Music: *has irrational dislike of devianart*

Since when, really, do we actually need to depend on someone else for our happiness? I admit, having someone special is bloody nice. But we don't need them. This sort of dependence on outside sources for happiness is... silly. 'Cause if I can't make myself feel better, how can I expect anyone else to give a shit? (Bright Eyes)
So, in a way, this is the lonliest Valentine's Day I've had yet. Also, the most painful. I mean, who doesn't just love getting up in the morning to be greeted by Aunt Flo? I know this day has a red theme but that's just a little extreme, thank you. The cramps weren't very welcome, either.
Anyway, I didn't particularly feel like commiserating with other single friends (not that I have too many here at the moment.) I'm not really in a 'Boys suck and they should all be castrated!' mood. And I didn't really have a special someone to spend it with. No surprises there. Hamilton is hardly the social capital in the summer when everyone's off home, or at the beach, or anywhere but the City of the Future. I didn't get any gifts, but then, I didn't give any, either. And that's okay.
For all it's been a lonely Valentine's, I didn't really think about it. I mean, I knew Dad and Suzie would be doing something. And that's it. Eileen and I laughed a bit at the news and all the flower delivery stuff. *shrugs* No chocolates, no cards, no flowers, no S.O.'s. Love, romantic love, is hardly central to my life at this point.
I very nearly could have forgotten it was Valentines. But that would mean not reading lj and not watching the news and being oh so anti-social. Yeah, I'm not that anti-Valentines. I don't care too much either way, anymore. I find getting angsty and bitter about it is a bit excessive, really.
Anyway, I hope you have/had a fine Valentine's Day yourself.

Fin.

Current Mood: okay
Current Music: :s

We were going to hit up the beach tomorrow but not so. Weather is rather shitty all of a sudden. So that's going to happen next week. *shrugs* Ah, well. It'll be fun when we do it.
Mmm, new concept for you.
Well, it was new to me when I saw it.

McCafe.

It's McDonald's. It's a cafe. It's McDonalds and it's a cafe. So weird. Haven't even stepped inside there yet.
Anyway, I'm absolutely brilliant. There's no way I'm going to be modest about this. It was just awesome. I told Andrea I'd be at her place at about eleven in the morning. I decided I wanted to stop by Dad's and grab my photos and batteries and swing on by to Ange's. Well, it was just awesome. I left Denise's at about twenty to ten to walk to Dad's, and got there about an hour later. Twenty minutes later I was outside Ange's house. Spot on, no more than one or two minutes after eleven. I rock.
Anita was there for about an hour as well and we all listened to stories and looked at photos. Laughed at Ange's experiences with menfolk. After a lunch Ange and I sort of migrated to her bedroom and then to the living room. At three something I finally figured I should leave because the sky was looking dodgy and I didn't have my leather jacket. It just started pouring when I was perhaps less than 200 metres from Denise's place. Thankfully not soaked completely.
We went and picked Iain up and headed off to the Lisignoli's to have dinner there. Also picked up some vino tinto because they're Italian and what's dinner with Italian's without wine? The Rose was really nice. Unfortunately at the dinner table Iain knocked my last glass of it off the table and broke the glass (and spilled it all. It was pretty full damnit). So my slightly heady feeling from the first two glasses kind of faded away. It was a great evening though.
Well I can't stay on too late because it's nearly eleven at night now, and mum wants to check her emails as well. I don't really want her nagging me while I try keeping up with my smut. Ah, the smut is having to take a back shelf for the time being. *shrugs* Got so much other stuff to do for once!
Last night I dreamed about so many of you all missing me and not wanting me to go and all that sort of stuff. It made me kind of sad, because I don't really want to leave you behind... but then this is a dream finally coming true and who's going to begrudge me that?

Fin.

Current Mood: giddy
Current Music: Not getting schnockered yet

So I really love the moon.
And... I have come to the conclusion that I have a personality akin to that of a Saldean. I can be as forward as a Saldean farmgirl on Sun day. I also just have a Saldean woman's temprament. But then there's this whole marriage/relationship thing...
If there's going to be a bitch in the relationship, it's going to be me. But that means he has to be more than me. Otherwise I will resent making myself less to make him appear more. And, while not nearly as possessive as Faile (he can look, but he can't touch, basically), I will kill the tramp and punish him if he is disloyal.
However, despite all that, I love Ebou Dari fashion, and would crave a marriage knife as well as their style of dresses. And a good set of throwing knives. And an ashanderei.

Fin.

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: I should be going

I know I just made an entry but...
My ex, Jason, just IMed me. He's just had his heart broken. And his life is pretty shitty. And he's come to me to talk about it.
Bloody hell!
Oh FUCK! He's a cutter, too.

Fin.

Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: I'mma beat him.

Hate stitches.
I cleaned my room after school today. I moved my bed. I threw away a ton of photos. And some papers. I cleared out my stuff for Goodwill. It took two black trash bags. I organized a bunch of my other papers, photos, and games. I moved my rocking chair and put stuff on the top of my dresser in a better way.
My room looks so big when it's clean.
I have a test in physics tomorrow, and while I still need to write up notes, I'm feeling pretty confident. I actually did all the review and paid attention in class when we went over the problems so I realized where I'd screwed up.
It was kind of funny when Jake asked me about corsages and Tolo. Kira thought we were going together. Nope, ~I'm~ not his date. He asked me, but I said I didn't want a date. I don't want a date to Prom either. (unless, miraculously, I find a great boy--not bloody likely) There's something about going solo (and meeting up with friends) that's really quite fun.
Of course I've still got some preparation to do, like fixing up my halter top. It's a little... broken. A little fun with the sewing machine ought to fix it up like new though. (I'm going to look like such a hooker for Tolo)
My step-dad thinks I cannot possibly be related to my mother. Just because of the Goodwill bags. I was also getting rid of this "itty bitty bits" cabinet, but mum's claiming it instead and getting rid of some little shelf thing she has for her itty bitty bits. I was surprised she remembered how I came to possessing such a cabinet (which I had absolutely no use for).
Awk... feel bad for one of my friends in Kent. She has a bad time of picking boys. I think I may have to do some mass castration, but I haven't decided yet. Sometimes she gets on my nerves with her lack of wisdom.

Fin.

Current Mood: uncomfortable
Current Music: They pull awfully.

In light of the Britney Spears marriage-divorce fiasco, I have come to a conclusion.

If a couple wants to get married, they should wait 6-12 months, depending on how long they've been together. In the case of divorce, they ought to be married for at least a year (except in extreme cases to be decided by a court judge) before they even separate. Separation before divorce should be 6 months to 2 years, depended on how long they have been married.

It just might create some order then.

Fin.

Current Mood: nerdy
Current Music: I mean, c'mon!

How am I, someone who hasn't had a boyfriend in over a year, someone who is all but contemptuous of the male sex, someone who hasn't got a whole story, supposed to be able to console she who has just been dumped?
I guess I'll just say nothing. I don't even want to whack the guy.

Fin.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Blah.