xans: Lego minifig woman with red hair in black robes with a green lightsaber. It has been stylized to look like it was drawn rather than photographed (Error)
Henry: Do you really think there is only one perfect mate?
Leonardo da Vinci: As a matter of fact, I do.
Henry: Well then how can you be certain to find them? And if you do finally find them, are they really the one for you or do you only think they are? And what happens if the person you're supposed to be with never appears, or she does, but you're too distracted to notice?
Leonardo da Vinci: You learn to pay attention.
Henry: Then let's say God puts two people on Earth and they are lucky enough to find one another. But one of them gets hit by lightning. Well then what? Is that it? Or, perchance, you meet someone new and marry all over again. Is that the lady you're supposed to be with or was it the first? And if so, when the two of them were walking side by side were they both the one for you and you just happened to meet the first one first or was the second one supposed to be first? And is everything just chance or are some things meant to be?

I recently spoke to a friend of mine with whom I had no conversed with in a while. Apparently she's got a new boyfriend, and he's THE ONE, her soulmate, she's felt complete since she met him, etc., etc., ad nasuem. I'd be more happy for her, if I weren't so bloody doubtful. Having not spoken in some time, I thought, oh, this happened months ago. No. This happened a week and a half ago, and thus enters my doubt and disbelief. I just... I have a hard time believing in people my age (especially girls; they'll be the soonest to claim it) having found The One. No matter how romantic he's being.

That is not to suggest it's not possible. Indeed not. I stongly believe in, say, [livejournal.com profile] shiseiji and Matt being an excellent match please, please, please be okay, and both are younger than I. They've also been together at least two to two & a half years and been reasonably stable throughout. If they said they were meant to be, they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together, I'd say finally! However, I wouldn't say it if they'd announced that a week into their relationship.

It just seems to me that many girls my age seem to claim that they've found love and he loves her so much, he must be the one... I mean, shit, I fell in love once. Got my heart broken even. But, I don't think I ever believed Judah was The One omgsquee4eva!!!!11!! or that we'd end up getting married and spending the rest of our lives together. (Funnily enough, he was married by the time he was 20 to the girl he chose over me) I think it takes more time than a lot of people take, to be sure of one's feelings about a relationship, or that it's 'meant to be.' How can anyone truly claim to love, to be in love, with someone that they've been with and known for only a short time? It's awfully extreme. One of the things I hated when I was with Jason back when we were 14 was how quickly he started saying, "I love you" and how I felt pressured to reply the same even though I knew I most certainly did not.

I despise the word love sometimes, or how easily it gets misused and misunderstood. Not to mention the many different types of love--there really ought to be more words to descibe them, like how the Greeks had the three words for it. If it's not misunderstanding when using the word love in a non-romantic sense (like [livejournal.com profile] pandoras_evil_t specifying she loves me as a sister), saying you don't love someone often gets such a wrong reaction too. As if it's impossible to merely like someone to varying degrees, lesser than those of love.

If I were to say that I don't love Peter--and I don't...yet--I'd have to expand that statement to include the facts that I do like him--a lot--and that yes, there could be a possiblity that one day I might love him, or I'd sound like a heartless bitch undeserving of his attention. (I struggle with believing he'll give me any attention, deserved or undeserved shh... ignore my insecurities and fear of rejection.) Though, I'm sure I'd rather come off sounding heartless and undeserving, than be another headless chicken proclaiming to the heavens that, oh beauty divine, joy of joys, love hath found me, and forever may it last.

Such sappiness, especially this early on, is unbecoming. What am I saying? May I never, no matter how enthralled I may become, never sound so sooky and wet.

Fin.
xans: Lego minifig woman with red hair in black robes with a green lightsaber. It has been stylized to look like it was drawn rather than photographed (Default)
AU is an experiment in dimensions. To take a character, a whole, three-dimensional character, and distort them. To find ways to have them grow in new scenarios, to shed light on smaller, darker hidden aspects of them. The proverbial 'what if?'. That's the allure. And in order to be successful, I think one needs to constantly remind themselves, that while all things are possible, the complete obliteration of a character to suite ones own needs is debasing the character itself.

Yes. That is a lovely definition of AU. Comes from a rant/essay that lead to the birth of [livejournal.com profile] domus_felicus. I love the AU theory of Sirius and Remus rasing Harry together.
The sweet and sour chicken at dinner was glorious. Just so, so nice. I swear the food has been wonderful this last week, as if having to support fewer mouths means they can suddenly make better food. But there's not a night where there hasn't been at least one thing that I found myself in bliss over. At least one. Usually more than one. Heh. Despite all the nice food I'm down one notch on my belt. Either it's better food or I'm not eating enough. Probably both.
Watched Lost. Whoa is Ethan creepy or is Ethan creepy. I just remember him being annoying. Now he's creepy along with being annoying.
Woo! This girl next to me is playing Alchemy. Haha. And I had to tell her how cool it is that she's playing it. She loves that game. That's just great. I think I might go play it, too. I was playing it just yesterday. Hehe. I also want to try the new Bejeweled 2 but it wasn't working for me yesterday.

Fin.
xans: Lego minifig woman with red hair in black robes with a green lightsaber. It has been stylized to look like it was drawn rather than photographed (Default)
El baile “Prom”

El sabado pasada fue el baile Prom. Me despierté mas temprano pero no fue necesario. Me peiné mi pelo en dos moños. A las dos mi mamá regresó de las tiendas y me dio dos cintas rojas para mi pelo. Me maquillé y luego me vistío mi vestido de etiqueta. Mi vestido es negro, rojo, y oro. Es oriental y muy bonita. Iba a ser la chica mas única al baile.
Después de la película mi amiga y yo miramos, fuimos a un restaurante se llama “Down East.” A su casa, ayudé Alicia con su vestido. Su falda es negra y el top es negro con topos blancos. Los padres de Alicia nos tomaron fotos antes de salir.
Estaba lloviendo cuando Ali y yo llegamos a Trident salón de baile. Había muchos jovenes muy guapos saludaban y hablaban con amigos. Mi amigo Tyler llevó un traje blanco mientras mi amigo Jake llevó un traje negro con un chaleco verde. Mis amigas llevaron vestidos de muchos colores diferentes. Jess llevó un vestido rojo, Hen llevó azul, Ash llevó naranja, y Desi llevó azul oscuro. La moda de los vestidos fue diferente, pero ¡no vestido comparó con mi vestido! Todos les gustó mi vestido mucho.
Mi grupo de amigos empezó bailar primero y luego los otros bailaron también. El “DJ” tocó musíca rap y no me gusta la musíca rap. Yo traté de bailar pero la musíca fue muy malo. Yo hablaba con un amigo de Ash cuando su grupo decidío salir. A los once, Ali y yo salimos también.
xans: Lego minifig woman with red hair in black robes with a green lightsaber. It has been stylized to look like it was drawn rather than photographed (Drama Queen ~Lynds (gj))
There's nothing quite like sharing lunch with Hen. I don't mean, I have third lunch, she has third lunch, and we hang out. Because really, I only have third lunch when we have a physics test and we don't always hang out. What I mean is, there's nothing quite like giving Hen some of my food because she had basically nothing, and then her returning the favor when she bought a packet of pop tarts.
If only that annoying boy didn't think that sitting with us, and half listening to our conversation meant he had every right to speak up. He misheard too many things and I got sick of us having to repeat ourselves for his benefit.
I do not want to write the in-class essay on the Great Gatsby tomorrow.

Fin.

You're it!

Apr. 12th, 2004 06:12 pm
xans: Lego minifig woman with red hair in black robes with a green lightsaber. It has been stylized to look like it was drawn rather than photographed (Pissed Elf ~_redpanda_)
Heather [livejournal.com profile] hi_im_heather Tagged Me!

Be Part of the Madness and Pass it On!


All you needa do to pass it on... )

Today, the weather wasn't as nice as all last week had been. It wasn't rainy. I haven't noticed any droplets at all. Just cloudy, and a little chilly. It didn't stop me from wearing a skirt though. Albiet a long denim one. Although, I wasn't the only one with that idea today.
The day back from break is always different. You look to see who hasn't come back yet, and who's changed his/her hair, who's got a tan and who's got any sort of indicator of a new injury--crutches, cast, etc. Everyone asks what everyone else did over break. And "How was Easter?"
And, if we're really lucky, our teachers will have finally graded those essays. Which, aside from maybe ten, Quinn had done. Of course, he went on to show a good example from each prompt. He keeps the writer anonymous. And he explained how it was "nearly perfect" or "could have elaborated just a little more." And then he read it. And the other paper. And whose papers were they? Well, the second one, I knew to be Matt's. But I had to pretend to be asleep to hide my quivering lips (trying not to grin) as he also read mine.
That's right. "Darn near perfect" paper. Awww, yeah. And he said he didn't want to boost my ego or anything with saying that, because it did have its flaws... but damnit I just wanted to grin--didn't. No need to let folk realize who wrote the paper worth mentioning. *grins* And Matt and I hate that class. We hate writing in that class. And yet, Matt's stuff are read often (although Quinn has his issues because he rarely agrees with Matt), and sometimes, like today, mine is.
Don't know how Quinn managed to mistake empathize for sympathize. Maybe he doesn't know what it means to empathize as opposed to sympathize with someone. Or maybe he thought I should have used sympathize instead of empathize. No idea. At least my writing gave him some trip ups. Makes me feel okay that my best friend has issues too.
Anyway, my big excitement for today was when I came home, and switched on the computer. See, way back for my birthday, my brother sent, along with a couple CDs and computer games, some discs with movies on them. And they, unlike the music videos, wouldn't play. Well, he finally sent me the one little program thing I need to get them to play.
This afternoon I finally got to watch Interview With the Vampire in all its entirety. *dies and goes to heaven* (Why, oh why, couldn't Louis have kissed Armand in that one scene?!)
*smiles* My day is complete.

Fin.

For Biz

Jan. 23rd, 2004 09:46 am
xans: Lego minifig woman with red hair in black robes with a green lightsaber. It has been stylized to look like it was drawn rather than photographed (Default)
College Writing
Arg. Research Paper
January 23, 2004

It’s not time to be soft

Pests. In a country like New Zealand, where natural predators are lacking, certain animals can become identified as pests, such as the foliage destroying possum. I can still remember when some wild horses residing in the center of the North Island had to be put down, as they became pests rather than simply untamed creatures. Red deer, introduced as a game animal when the country was colonized, became a source of income for my grandfather as he worked for the government: killing any deer he found during his six-month stay in the forests of the North Island. Their meat also augmented the meager supplies he was given, necessary more for sustenance than sport, but also culling the ever-increasing population. Sometimes I hear stories from my aunt, as she tells me about my cousin’s wild pig hunting with his dogs, wild pigs being another introduced and rather irksome creature.

As humans increase in population, and expand out, habitats of wilder creatures are encroached. Often, they are able to adapt, but cause a new danger not only to humans, but themselves. (Wilkinson n. pag.) Some offer the solution of sterilizing a large part of the animal population causing so much trouble. (Smith n. pag.) Animal populations need to be controlled not just through sterilization, but extermination as well. Trapping and euthanasia is one effective treatment to an immediate problem, as is hunting. Hunting is also necessary for humans not just as a form of sport—to catch that trophy buck—but to provide food for the table.

In an attempt to stop an almost regular plague of mice in the grain regions of Australia, scientists are attempting to synthesize a virus to render the female mice infertile. This is a rather extreme and dangerous solution, as the virus could mutate and cross species, causing untold damage. (Nowak n. pag.) A plan was concocted to shoot the plentiful white deer on Long Island, NY with darts containing a contraceptive. So far, it hasn’t been very effective. (Smith n. pag.) While sterilization would be an efficient form of preventing over population disasters, the problem is rarely a foreseen one.

The deer in Long Island are so prolific that it has become commonplace for residents to see them, either running through yards or crossing a highway. They have become such a danger, though, as one driver, Matthew Kavanaugh, found out when on his way to Orient Park. Four deer all stepped onto the highway at the same time, and his only option was to decide which one to hit. Not only did the deer survive the 50 mph collision, it also suffered through two more cars running over it before the police arrived to shoot it. Not only is the over population dangerous for the deer as they eat all they can, they cause a danger to humans with their wanderings in search of even more food. Not everyone who resides in an area frequented by deer can afford to build incredibly high fences, or take the time to research to find what sorts of plants deer won’t touch. Allowing two different hunting seasons, one with bows and arrows, the other with shotguns and muzzle loaders is going to cause the deer less suffering, with a quicker death than the ones offered: starvation, or to be hit by a car. (Smith n. pag.) At the same time, the two seasons allow hunters the chance to improve their skills, and put some meat on the table.

When a blazing cacophony of sounds such as loud music and shouting disrupt a hunt, animal rights activists seem to feel they have gained a victory. To keep a hunter from pulling the trigger and causing an animal suffering is just what they want. (Satchell 124-5) It seems that the activists believe any hunting is bad, as if everyone must depend instead on store bought food, or, better yet, become a vegetarian. Poachers, who deliberately go out to score the biggest and most ferocious creature, have no intention of putting meat on the table and have given hunting a bad name. (Satchell 126) It’s not as if hunting of a certain animal is available all the time—there are specific seasons, places, and restrictions on the types of weapons the hunter may use. Some states also have requirements of hunters taking gun safety classes, to ensure they are able to use the gun in the hunt without being a gross danger. (Smith n. pag)

For many generations, hunting has become something of a ritual, as fathers or uncles take sons and nephews out to not simply kill animals, but to bond, and teach those special family traditions and values. (Boncompagni n. pag.) Hunters aren’t always out for the sport of killing animals, or even just to put meat on the table. The company and bonding formed through such experiences are just as important as the chance to score some grouse or venison. (Satchell 126) But recently, hunting has shifted beyond a bonding experience for males, and has found a new crowd. Many adults from their late 20’s to mid 40’s, with an income of at least $100,000 a year have discovered the sport of hunting. Thousands of clubs exist to support this passion, as do many brands have new technology and gear for the best luck during a hunt. Someone like Bryan D'Orazio, who took up hunting in the last year, is happy if he catches or not. He has sisters who have been giving him a hard time about shooting animals. His answer: "I still haven't hit anything." (Boncompagni n. pag.)

Sometimes, the only way to deal with a pest is to trap it and kill it by euthanasia, gassing or shooting. As new restrictions in the last twenty years on killing animals come into existence, yet these creatures still create an annoyance, trapping has become the preferred occupation of many. There is a low rate of success for those who do, as many do not fully research and plan for the profession. Traps are laid out at a property and must be checked every day. Sometimes, animals have suffered and died unnecessarily due to such neglect, and it gives the process a bad reputation. Sterilizing parts of an animal population is no way to deal with an immediate threat while trapping and extermination is a quick, effective response. (Christman n. pag.)

When Theodore Roosevelt, an avid hunter himself, was President, he began the federal wildlife refuge program, and many hunters contribute money to increase game populations. Such actions prevent any catastrophic declines in animal populations, so that hunting doesn’t take a large toll. (Satchell 127) Several state governments have set up programs not only to allow hunters better opportunities with hunting, but also to study the consequences of certain actions for prey populations. For instance, Oregon has set up a program to track mountain lions for two years before killing them, and observing the effects on local elk populations. Similarly, Colorado has eliminated coyotes in specific areas to see how the mule deer are affected. In Utah, there are actual contests for however many coyotes a hunter can kill. While it may seem extreme at 85,000 of the 100,000 predators killed annually are coyotes, those coyotes are responsible for the deaths of as many as 30,000 sheep. One resident explains, “Outside of town, rifle-toting ranchers in pickup trucks don’t hesitate to shoot any coyote that comes within range. That’s the way it’s been as long as raising livestock has been a livelihood.” (Wilkinson n. pag.)

Helen Nigg wasn’t always into hunting, but only because of what she used to think. “I guess I had this stereotype of hunting as just a bunch of big burly guys who wear plaid and N.R.A. caps sand say, ‘Let’s go and kill some defenseless animals,’” she says. (Boncompagni n. pag.) These animals are not entirely defenseless, or, like the dodo bird, they would have quickly become extinct to satisfy hungry lions or fill humans’ cooking pots. As humans expand, it is only natural that animals will attempt to adapt and as an unforeseen consequence, become a major pest. While few animals can match the intelligence and ingenuity of humans, many can become clever enough to avoid situations that will lead to their death. Restrictions and education aid in preventing undue abuse to animals in the sport of hunting and truly does act as another form of culling an overlarge population. It would appear that a bullet would indelibly cause less suffering for a creature than starvation or wandering into the path of a fast moving car. (Smith n. pag.) With more studies on actions and the subsequent reactions affecting wildlife populations, sterilization could eventually have a positive result of preventing future population problems. Until such times, I would rather see pests exterminated humanely than risk a synthetic virus or a contraceptive that might work if applied correctly.


Works Cited

Boncompagni, Tatiana. "Shooting for a New Generation." New York Times. 9 January 2004. <http://proquest.umi.com>.

Christman, Bill. "Partner for Nuisance Wildlife Control." Pest Control August 2003: 36. <http://proquest.umi.com>.

Nowak, Rachel. "Biocontrol Arms Race Looms." New Scientist 30 August 2003: 8. <http://search.epnet.com>

Satchell, Michael. "The American Hunter Under Fire." Animal Rights and Welfare. Ed. Jeanne Williams. New York: H.W. Wilson Company, 1991. 124-130.

Smith, Devin. "In Man Vs. Deer, the Deer are Winning." New York Times. 4 January 2004. <http://proquest.umi.com>.

Wilkinson, Todd. "Predator-control Programs Come Under Fire in the West." Christian Science Monitor 14 March 2001: 2. <http://search.epnet.com>
xans: Lego minifig woman with red hair in black robes with a green lightsaber. It has been stylized to look like it was drawn rather than photographed (Default)
A boy takes a girl to dinner, and then they go see a movie. A girl asks a guy to a dance, and they share a meal at a fancy restaurant beforehand. It’s what is known as a date. Lacking male companionship, very often a girl friend and I will go to dinner and attend a dance, or go see a movie together. We do not, however, call it a date. Even if it’s prearranged, it is never a date. Such an event, in my circle of friends, is more commonly identified as a dat.

Dances are awesome. Movies are fun to watch. Taking a trip to another town is exciting. But none of these events are as much fun when I’m alone. There’s nothing like looking over at my friend in the middle of a romantic scene and sniggering at the sappiness. I love to reminisce about that one dance where we totally scared this guy by dancing with him at the same time. I find it’s not as much fun to turn around and tell anyone what I did when my friend and I can tell everyone what we did.

It first showed up within a matter of weeks after Homecoming. Four special dances are held at my school, but by the time the second one was about to roll around, several friends and I faced the uncertainty of having a date. As I chatted online one night, my friend asked me, “Hana, will you be my dat to Tolo?” Fearing she made a typo, I sought clarification, only to have her respond, “No, I mean dat, with no e.” A dat: no e, and no romance.

In that case, “Dat” was made up possibly on a whim. The roots are obviously found in the word date, but it is a word we could not help but coin merely to set it apart from the connotations when a person hears someone say, “Date.” A date implies that there are or could be romantic feelings between the couple sharing their time together. It has a sense of formality, and that there can or will be more than one such event.

Yet very often my friends and I take such trips. No one actually says, “Oh, so you had a date with her,” but in all reality, for two girls to get dressed up, go to dinner, and then go to a dance together is very much like being on a date. The same goes for when we see a movie that sometimes is erroneously labeled a “chick flick” that many a boyfriend has been pulled along to watch. That is, was it not for the fact we have no romantic interest in each other. Our common line now, when we want to go with just one friend to a dance or a movie, is, “So you’ll be my dat, right?”

My most recent experience with a dat has also shown that it is a form of rekindling friendships. On Thanksgiving, I found myself reconciling with a friend after a long period of discord, and our way of making up: to go see “Love Actually” together. It was our dat, for even though we knew several other friends desired to see that movie, we made it an event for us. Our past war forgotten and forgiven, we were able to sit there, and mutter to each other when characters’ didn’t do what we thought they should do. It was a dat that left us feeling good about our friendship and ourselves.

The truth is, my friends and I care for each other deeply. We love to spend time together. We love to have group events, and generally have a ruddy good time. Sometimes, when I know that another friend is just as interested in attending an event as I am, or I just want to spend some one-on-one time with a specific friend, it’s just as fun to plan an event that’s just the two of us. While dats share no romantic connotations, they are still based on love, companionship, and enjoyable experiences with a person I care about.

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