xans: Xans (Suicidal)

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Amazing that I've received 3,500 comments exactly. That's pretty cool. It's my 891st post... and I've had my lj since November 2003. There's all sorts of other quirky little stats and stuff I could come up with concerning my lj, but, well, who cares? It would only really be fascinating to me.

Because I love bringing it up, someone linked me to the youtube video involving the elephant on the trampoline that led to that oh-so-hypnotic icon. It's pretty damn cool, although I kept expecting something horrible to happen to the elephant. Not because I wanted to, but because it would totally make me flinch.

I haven't been feeling that talkative lately, or in the mood to respond to emails... which is a bad thing. Because I really should at least acknowledge that yes, I got this or that text or email, and I'm fine/alive/what-have-you... but then whoever contacted me with be in the mood to chat and ask questions, and I don't fucking feel like sharing. It's not like there's anything going on. I'm simply in a non-social mood. Thing. I don't know how to explain it. Reclusive? Temporarily?

I just want to sit back and watch, for a while.

xans: Xans (Drunk Guys)
I caught myself staring at the bouncing elephant on a trampoline icon again. It's just so damned...hypnotic. I keep expecting it to jump higher, or maybe for the trampoline to finally break under it... or I get caught up in seeing how its trunk lifts and falls as well, but I can't see its tail doing the same. Weirdness.

It's my birthday in a couple months and once again, I'm not excited. I know [livejournal.com profile] pandoras_evil_t would love for me to come up and we'd do something to celebrate, but, really... I don't like celebrating my birthday. I mean, presents are nice, and all, but really I'd much prefer being able to buy for myself whatever it is I desire, not hoping for someone to pick up on my birthday wishes. And, yeah, okay, someone baking me a cake would be nice but it's not necessary.

I just... I mean, what's the point? Only a handful of people really care I'm getting older, and, yeah, there's just... no motivation to be all jubilant about yet another birthday. Meh.


Don't blink

May. 2nd, 2007 08:44 am
xans: Xans (Default)
I am so hypnotised by this icon:

I don't wanna take my eyes off it.

Clearly my body is out to get me since The Curse + Sex Dreams = Frustration on my part. I actually had a fairly fantastic night of sleeping with engaging dreams, I just didn't need them taking a sexual turn, or anything. But when I got up this morning, I was amazed to see the sky an amazing shade of pink before I remembered that old axiom about red in the morning being not such a good thing.

I finally heard from [livejournal.com profile] diea, which is grand, because I haven't seen her online in ages. I miss Our Conversation. But I also can't resent her having a life outside of the internet. I miss chatting with a lot of my friends actually, but it's like... I don't know what to talk about. I hate to talk just about fandom, although I have my many tv/movie/book loves and it is grand to squee over that stuff with someone--anyone.

But life itself has been nothing notable or exciting, so it's not like I have much about myself to discuss--and hey, who wants to talk to someone only concerned with talking about themselves? Of course asking a million questions interrogation style isn't the way to go, either. I'm just... not sure how to reach out to some people again.

Anyway, enough of my whining. *goes back to watching icon*


Le sigh.

Apr. 6th, 2007 07:07 pm
xans: Xans (Boo Brady)
*pouts* No Supernatural tonight. Le sad.

I tried making a curry for dinner. It's edible, but I've had better. Ah, well.

xans: Xans (Inner Squint)
Hi, body? Thanks so much for waking me at 6:30 on a Monday morning. My bladder wasn't nearly as full as your signals implied. That kinda stuff just ain't on, body. Not cool at all. Bad enough it took forever to fall asleep because my feet were damn near freezing half the night, since apparently adequate circulation is for freaks.

Also, I think my tastebuds have become coffee snobs, or something. We only have instant, but I'm pretty sure it was Moccona (however you spell it), which is like... top of the line. It's good instant coffee. It makes this Nescafe stuff damn near impalatable. I'm not really a coffee addict, but now I seriously want some better cofee. Bloddy hell.

Several years back I started this eensy hobby involving cutting words out of magazines with the intention to make pretty story/poster things. I've finally been organising all the words, just to find out what I have, and to see if I get inspired to create something. Anyway, in the case of several words, I have repeates. 'Specially little words like, "the," "in," "at," "to," etc., etc. (Hell I've even got three of that) Anyway, I was somewhat shocked (and amused) to discover I have 87 "the"s of varius fonts and sizes. I just hope I can come up with something quirky. It's damn tedious, no matter what, and I have to be very, very careful of breezes not screwing my shit up. *nods*

Anyway, better stop with this, and shower and do normal Monday things.


Edit: Possibly I'm in line for some wacky PMSing, because last night I had a craving for beer of all things. (Thankfully, there was some in the cupboard to satisfy my thirst.)


Mar. 2nd, 2007 08:01 pm
xans: Xans (Boo Brady)
Not to, uh, whine or anything (except I totally am, 'cause I'm such a prima donna), but, y'know, if I actually got some prompts for the Five Things Meme I decided to do again... well it would be really fucking appreciated!!!!

Y'know, if it's not too much trouble.



Jan. 19th, 2007 05:48 pm
xans: Xans (Death's Teddy)
Okay, so, totally not going to get to sleep in anytime soon. Amarah wakes too early and she's not quiet. And once Savannah's up, well, damn, she sure as hell doesn't know how to be quiet and can't stop stomping around like gravity don't work. Amarah's been a little fussybritches, running hot and cold as to whether she'll let me pick her up or not. Maybe she resents somewhat that I'm often the one to put her down for sleep. *snerk*

Savannah, though, damn she needs to stop eating. Every five minutes it seems, she's got something else to eat and offering it to Amarah. And usually it's sugar stuff. Which, y'know, we really don't need to hype up the two-year old, and, while Savannah's a skinny little thing, she needs to quit with all the food. We have mealtimes for a reason. Little brat keeps talking back to us, too. And that is just not on.

Speaking of food...totally craving fish'n'chips liek whoa. Dunno if I'm gonna get some, though...

Your results:
You are Apocalypse
Poison Ivy
Dr. Doom
Lex Luthor
Mr. Freeze
The Joker
Dark Phoenix
Green Goblin
You believe in survival of the fittest and you believe that you are the fittest.

Click here to take the "Which Super Villain are you?" quiz...

62% Combativeness, 46% Sneakiness, 82% Intellect, 41% Spirituality
Aggressive, but with the brains to back it up: You are a Spellsword!
Score! You have a prestige class. A prestige class can only be taken after you’ve fulfilled certain requirements. This may mean that you're an exceptionally talented person, but it probably doesn't.
Spellswords combine arcane might with combat know-how. They're much tougher than mages, like to wear armor, and can cast spells through their weapons. They're very, very, good at doing lots of damage to a single target very quickly, and while not quite as tough as most fighters, are still pretty hard to kill.
You're both smart and aggressive, which means that you're probably pretty dangerous when pissed off. You also tend to be somewhat straightforward, which is nice, and don’t have much use for spirituality or mysticism.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Combativeness

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Sneakiness

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Intellect

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Spirituality
Link: The RPG Class Test written by MFlowers on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

xans: Xans (Jayne Steal)
I wish I could sleep better, but Savannah the Bratsome people just don't know how to be fucking quiet. And dadother people slam the bloody door because they can't figure out the lock. *shakes head* I will rest better in my own bed back at Dad's.

In other news, there's a bag of Carla's old clothing in the back of her car, that us girls went through... I scored about six or so decent pairs of pants, and some more hoodies and a couple tops. I... don't think I needa go shopping for clothes any time soon.

And, now, time for the sheepage...

Meme 1
Reply to this post, and I will tell you my favorite icon of yours. Then post this to your own journal using your own favorite icon.

(My icon? Well, mebbe you know what that's all about)

Meme 2
Comment here and I'll tell you one thing that I like about you. Then go post it in your LJ and return the sentiment.


Edit: Don't forget the meme I posted yesterday as well, f-list! Only [livejournal.com profile] macjinx has done it, and I'd like more answers and such, if, y'know, it's not TOO MUCH TROUBLE. :P
xans: Xans (Emo Lyrics)
Because I want to get to know you even better, even if I feel like I know some of you better than my RL friends already :)But, I'm curious! Don't worry about taking forever about this, impulsive answers are good too. Fill this out for me and I'll (maybe) fill it out for you!

Mmm, meme sheepage )

In other news, am at Carla's babysitting Amarah for the next week or so. It's okay, but, y'know, tiresome. And there's Savannah, who's as much of an attention-whore as baby Amarah. And this afternoon I didn't even have Laura for adult company. Nor, I might add, have Dad and Suzy shown up. Damnit. I'm trying to get my 'net fix for the day, and Savannah's begging to use the phone to call Laura, which I won't let her. *le sigh* I'm tired, and I want someone else to take over already. Coffee can only keep me going so long.

Fill out the meme so I have comments to read tomorrow sometime, yeah? Please? :)



Nov. 30th, 2006 10:50 pm
xans: Xans (Twatwaffle)
Augh! As if I don't have enough issues with hayfever, our darling cat Pearl had to have a sudden attack of cuddly cuteness of doom...and now I'm fucking covered in cat fur that insists on rising up to tickle my nose as if it weren't already being fucked with. Gah. I mean, I love that cat, she's an absolute darling, and it was probably just a thank-you for the fish I shared with her at dinner, but still. Not impressed.

Dinner, being Thursday night, was supposed to be cooked by me. But, well, Dad and I got held up at work--Jack and Caleb had gone up to Auckland to get more tree stands, and they got held up with a flat tire on their way back. So we were around 'til about 7 since Alice wouldn't really be able to handle any customers come to pick trees today. But she nicely shouted us the $$ to buy fish'n'chips for dinner, since otherwise it would have been very late before dinner got cooked. I did, in fact, cook a quiche, which I haven't done since I was, like, twelve... and we'll eat it for dinner tomorrow.

Last Tuesday I spent the night at Ange's. It was fun. We had dinner, and pigged out on junk food, and watched Stargate. 'Cause I'm le geek. And then yesterday she kindly shouted me and Jas'n frappacino whatsits at McCafe and we sat and talked. And we helped her spend more money on food. I went home for a while,a nd then came back in the evening to share dessert and watch some Star Trek Borg episodes and Shaun of the Dead. And then she kicked me and Jas'n out so she could go and have (loud) sex with Damian. *snerk*

I took the Seduction Quiz, but before I could post my results the computer died on me. Again. Fucker. Gah. So now I'm retaking it to get the proper result again. I was very amused with it.

I need to get laid.

xans: Xans (Jayne)
C'mon f-list, do something interesting! *pouts*

F-list not active. Emails checked. Replies sent. Myspace messages and friends requests dealt with. Chat with old acquantance gone quiet.

*is boring and is bored*

There's nothing to dooooo *whines* and I don't wanna study...

*tries not to spam LJ*

xans: Xans (Lost marbles)

I feel like a very boring person at the moment. Nothing particularly noteworthy to say. There's studying, there's reading, there's TV, there's Grant, there's good weather and shitty weather... there's looming PMS, I think. There's a decent email for Matt to be written, but the right words elude me.

I needwant a new fic obsession. And a pony.

xans: Xans (Stfu)
Urgh... Iain needs to text me back, damnit. Do I stop by his work with his present, or no? *shakes fist* Hurry up and tell me, damnit!


More wicked crazy fucked up dreams. My mind is a strange place.

Bored now.


Edit: I just upgraded to the sponsered account. 15 icons, new layout colours... will probably tweak more in the future when I have the time. *nods*

Edit the Second: Brother has texted back... MIGHT get to see him today to give him his present. If he gets his act together. *frowns*
xans: Xans (Zombies)
It's so fucking cold at night. Even though most of me is wrapped up nice and warm in bed, I always end up with a cold face because I gotta breathe, y'know? Well this morning after breakfast I was getting ready to brush my teeth when I looked in the mirror and saw some 'food' on my bottom lip. I go to wipe it off, only it doesn't disappear. Closer inspection and I realise... it's not food. It's dried blood. It's so fucking cold at night that my lips bloody cracked and bled!

And as I was making my way to the library today, it started to rain, but then the rain started to hurt... fucking hail! It's cold. *shivers*


Edit to add:

Find your Celestial Choir
xans: Xans (Gneil)
Am bloody fucking cold. Nearly fell over twice this morning on the way to the loo. Damn alcohol fucking with my sense of balance. I didn't even get that drunk, but apparently it was enough to throw me off just a lil' bit.

Wish I could remember more Spanish. Be halfway fluent like I used to be. Eh, bien.



Hate Sundays.

xans: Xans (WTF)
Oh, and did I mention, my method of being woken up this morning was Truffles sticking his tongue up my right nostril?

Those big brown cute chihauhua eyes don't fool me. Bastard.


bloody hell

Feb. 6th, 2006 09:49 am
xans: Xans (Help)
I don't like today and it's not even ten o'clock.

I woke up this morning, put the dogs out, etc... went back to bed. Finally got up 'cause Buddy wouldn't stop whining to come back inside. Had to feed him and Truffles, and the cats, and make sure nobody stole anyone else's food.

Answered nature, and oh yeah, period started yesterday sometime around the time I sat down to watch Once Upon a Time in Mexico, so I go to the loo this morning and it looks like someone was murdered in my panties during the night. This is not a nice period. Maybe, maybe I have to put up with crime scene panties for just a few days, as opposed to the usual painter's visit that lasts a week.

Oh, and it's raining, and there's washing on the line. It's washing that was done last week, forgotten about and sat in the washer for days, so it had to be rewashed to get rid of the smell. *sigh*

I keep spilling milk. And I've yet to do dishes, which should probably be done before Dad and Suzy get back. And I want to get on Iain's computer because after watching Once Upon a Time in Mexico, I watched Silence of the Lambs (just as I sat down to eat dinner, and I'd never seen before, but ooh do I like it), and then Star Wars. And now I want to watch Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. BUT his power button is finicky--you have to press it just right or it jams and the computer doesn't turn on. And all I seem to be doing is jamming it. It. Just. Won't. Turn. On.

I told you I don't like today.

Maybe something nice will happen to make it better, but I think that's just wishful thinking on my part.

xans: Xans (WTF)
Note to self: don't put leftovers in the far back of the fridge; they'll freeze.

Also, I fail at making a Rabbit Hole day entry. It just didn't want to finish itself and I got tired. Le sigh.

xans: Xans (Psycho Bitch)
+ reading and finishing Night Watch
+ getting to ride Iain's bike for a little while
- just about all my things gone, leaving my room rather empty
- sunburning my legs
- headache not from dehydration
- aspirin only partially effective
- period starting (although hopefully the aspirin will have worked as a preventative for cramps)

xans: Xans (Gay!Lupin)
It's overcast right now. The ground is wet, but it hasn't really been raining. Not anything torrential, at any rate. The weather lately has been pleasant. Sunny. Warm. I get up in the morning and open my windows to let in a breeze. Get distracted in the evenings and come home to a chilly room because I was online 'til late and handn't closed the windows and curtains. Oops. It's invariably warm in the computer labs, even with the fans going. So glad they installed those in the last month.
I hate my period for starting at such a time that my favourite pair of shorts were out of comission for a while. I hate that my sandals are all synthetic materials, so unlike leather sandals, they never break in, and leave me with sores on my feet from rubbing the skin wrong. I hate my closed shoes for giving me athlete's foot so I have to deal with that. It's a pleasure to walk around in shorts and bare feet. Except late at night when my feet are colder and more sensitive, so even slightly rough ground is uncomfortable. The old fear of slugs keeps me off the grass--even though there's nothing here like the ones back in WA. *shudders*
I'm just a little depressed right now. A little low. I feel like the other girls don't like me. I don't fit in. I wonder how much they realise I don't fit in. It's painful because they don't understand me, and they don't try to. They've got their cliques and close friendships. We can talk, but we're not friends. I miss having friends to do things with. Even if it's just watching movies. And playing the colours game. (They won't even try to learn the colours game--even though Annalise belches all the time) Playing Scum or Blewme (Bloomie? Solitaire Showdown. I saw someone playing that on MSN recently and missed our games).
I almost hate it when mum tells me what's been going on back home. Ha... home. But hearing about her and Gary and the cats, even the bloody insufferable racoons, it makes me miss it. I don't want to go back. I want to visit, but I don't want to go back. But I miss my friends and all that, too.
I need to remember to ask mum to get me some more knee high striped socks for Christmas. My red and white ones have got holes in the heels now. Sad.
Another reason I'd love to visit...

Last night I was chatting with Matt. Or rather, role-playing. It was rather spur of the moment. It was going by his idea of the chocaholic Myrdraal, and I was playing off of that. Already I've been trying to think of what my character looks like, where she must be from, and where she's been that she knows what she knows. I will have to further question Matt about any limitations as to what my character can do/be/know. Trying to refrain of Sue-dom. But it was very Wheel of Time. And so much fun. Especially when I began separating my thoughts from my character's thoughts.
Her name's Andra Liernan. I haven't figured her age. From clues from Matt, she must be rather attractive--after all, the two innkeeper's sons were both chasing after her mighty quick (and he was making pointed references to THEIR good looks and muscles, etc. oh, the drama!). Somehow she's made friends with a Myrdraal, her hidden protecter--who works for chocolate. Whee! In my mind I see her as someone with dark brown hair and brown eyes. Not pale, more olive skinned. On the shorter end of tall. Not dressed flamboyantly, but has wealth and probably appears to be maybe upper merchant class, or hell, she could possibly pass for low-ranking nobility.
We started out in Tel'aran'rhiod, the World of Dreams. So, with a bit of deft manipulation of said world, she carries a fair amound of wealth, as well as chocolate, and "necessities" which I left unspecified. At least one spare dress. :P And an overcoat. That's all I've got so far. Haven't thought of whether she has any other weapons beyond a knife. I haven't even decided if she has any weapon proficiency. I'll probably ask Matt if we're hammering out more stats and such.
It was fun to play and have backstory ideas come to me randomly. She started out as nothing. A nameless woman of unknowns. And they just began forming. It was great! And then, the honour of honours in my books: Matt asked if, whenever I visit in the States, we can play a WoT campaign with Andra and Derun'shael (a.k.a. the Stricken One a.k.a. Daryn) being NPCs. And that? That would be brilliant. I would love so much for the other players to meet these two... and then afterwards learn of their origins.


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