xans: Lego minifig woman with red hair in black robes with a green lightsaber. It has been stylized to look like it was drawn rather than photographed (Default)
I made myself sad yesterday.

I'm currently rereading The Masterharper of Pern, and it got me thinking about how long it's been since I fancast my dream roles for various characters if they made an adaptation of the Dragonriders of Pern. My mental picture of Robinton has always been something a bit like Sam Elliott, but he doesn't have the right voice to me.

And I thought, if they were making a show right now, who would I most want playing Robinton as a musical genius with an amazing vocal range? If he were still alive... Freddie Mercury. And I just... every now and then I think about all the music we never got from him and what the last 30 years could have been like with his continued influence.

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Mar. 12th, 2025 09:12 am
xans: Lego minifig woman with red hair in black robes with a green lightsaber. It has been stylized to look like it was drawn rather than photographed (Default)
After many years of the same, I have given my icon a makeover on all my scomed profiles.

Once upon a time I had a first daydream mary-sue self insert character who was a part of the Star Wars universe. She was a red-head named Fox and would learn to be a jedi alongside Luke. (I had never heard of Mara Jade at that point).

Lego minifigs are a lot more customisable these days and my initial fig to represent her wasn't entirely satisfactory, so I finially bought the pieces to make her right. When I looked into resizing the file to upload onto Ao3, I discovered options to stylize the image like a painting or drawing and went for that, too.
xans: Evil (Maleficent)
Phone call from school today, the teacher just wanted to check in and let me know how kiddo is settling in. It's been going well. He really liked the game they played today just before pick up time, where they catch a ball and chase-tickle each other. Apparently he's been joining in on the activities and school work.

I am pleased that full days are not exhausting him, as we thought he was more than capable. From home all indicators are that he's enjoying himself and looking forward to school. So that's good.

Tomorrow is Halloween and I'm crossing fingers that this rain has cleared up and I will have a fine sunny day to set up decorations and hand out treats.
xans: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die! (Inigo)
So, I've spent the last week feeling kinda lost. I'm mostly got a routine down to keep up on housework. School has started back up for the term and things seem to be going smoothly for kiddo. I finished the book series I was rereading, steuggled to find a new one to commit to, and I found my games were kind of boring me.

I need a project.

Two things I should do is seriously look into a part-time job, and driving lessons. I've been putting it off for years and years, because ughhhh anxiety, and it is holding me back, really. Someone give me the motivation to get it done.

Then yesterday I also kind of stumbled into a short term project. A promotional email from a local company showed me they are going to hold an event at a nearby venue next school holidays. Last year, they even has a special sensory session which had been great to take kiddo along to. But when I looked at their page, there did not appear to be a repeat of that happening. So, I reached out and asked.

Turns out, last year's event had only sold 9 tickets, which was not nearly enough to cover the cost of the venue and staff. So, totally valid that they're leery of doing that again. But they said to me if they ran it for only an hour on one day and limited it to 30 tickets, they might be able to do it again. But, need to know that those numbers of definite sales are out there.

So, I might make some enquiries on the community page, and failing that, it might be too short notice for this year, but seeing if any businesses or organisations might sponsor a future event might be somethjng to look into. I have never done that before, but there's an organisation that occasionally sends me invites for sponsored events forfamilies with special needs children, so I might ask them how those are brought together.
xans: Oh, shit (Ardeth)
I've been in a bit of a weird limbo lately. I'm not overly active in any particular fandom, I haven't been reading a lot of fanfic or watching/rewatching any shows that make me want to write reaction posts about and engage with others watching it too. I'm still low-key obsessed with Moon Knight, but like, I'm very particular about what I want to consume in that fandom and also weirdly antisocial about it. I think there's a couple other fandom discords that exist that I'd like to be a part of, but I'm too chickenshit to ask for an invite.

I also haven't been strongly drawn into any new shows (we're kinda sorta watching Hanna, Halo, and the live-action ATLA but I'll forget to put them on a lot).

Currently I'm reading the Pegasus serirs by Kate O'Hearn, which is not bad YA stuff, although... like, I asked my husband what he thought of the ATLA show that we've watched so far, and he said it was ok, but also kind of weird how it seemed to fluctuate between corny/cheesy and then rather violent for something with YA protagonists. And this book series I feel kind of the same.

I seem to be keeping anxiety at bay, though there was a week there not long after the school year started I thought things were going to set me off again, but we're handling it.
xans: All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited power (Power)
I got a comment on a fic published on Ao3 in 2013 that I originally wrote and posted on lj and cross-posted to ff.net back in 2007. Someone not only remembered reading my fic years ago, they were delighted to find it again.

That has made my day and is reminder to me that I should try to comment on fics when I read them. I've been hit or miss about that. Probably a weird brain thing, but I often find the less comments and kudos a fic has, the more inclined I am to give it some love. Same with older fics.

Anyway, I've not written anything in years, but it pleases me that something I wrote entertains people still.
xans: Lego minifig woman with red hair in black robes with a green lightsaber. It has been stylized to look like it was drawn rather than photographed (Wtf)
Whoops in not updating this thing since, uhh... 2018. I suppose it's because I'm kept active enough between rl and my other socials. Well I've remembered my login for here. As a back up. Just in case any of those implode.

I need some more active ppl on here to follow to remind me to check this place.
xans: All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited power (Power)
Merry Christmas, happy holidays, etc.

Lot of busy-ness around here atm. My mum & step-dad came over from the states. Christmas Eve we had them, plus my brother, S-i-L & nephew spend the night so we could spend Christmas Day together.

I shelled out a bucketload of money on a new phone that was on sale until the end of Christmas Eve. Didn't even get free time to open and figure it out until last night. I really should get a case for it because I'd hate to drop and crack it.

Anyway, Christmas Day itself was nice. My mum was hustling me in the morning to get to the opening presents stage. The boy still has half a dozen unopened presents as he mostly stuck to emoting his "stocking" (it's more of a sack), although my brother also opened his present for the boy because it was a book about construction vehicles that made noises and kept him from stealing his cousin's noisy dino book.

My mum also offloaded some jewellery and knickknacks that weren't part of the Christmas haul. And they picked us up a small bottle of Johnny walker blue label from the duty free shop. Damn that was smooth. Between that, my husband buying Jack Daniel's and receiving a selection of beers as his Christmas work bonus, not to mention the wine and cider we picked up from the supermarket, I've had as much alcohol in the last four days as I've had all year.

The meal itself was great. We were going to pick up a pavlova from the supermarket but we couldn't find any, and I was unimpressed at the mini meringue baskets. For the price they were, I was certain I could make nicer from scratch. So I ended up trying my hand at making pavlova for the very first time. Instead of a single big one I did six smaller ones. Once they were done, my husband put a leg of lamb in to roast, plus a tray of pumpkin, kumara, carrot & potatoes. We had an old salad I was going to top up until I saw how sad it was and just made a fresh one. We had a small ham, but my brother got given a massive one as his Christmas bonus so we traded and dished some of that one up instead. Also had a fresh crust Vienna loaf from the supermarket. The pavs turned out fantastic, served up with whipped cream, blueberries and strawberries. Also had some homemade berry tarts I made. So much good food.

My brother, S-i-L & nephew went home that evening. Boxing Day (today) my husband had to work, when it would normally be his weekend. He has tomorrow off, and then next week he's getting tues-wed as a three day weekend. Around lunchtime we walked down to town with my mum & step-dad and found the Shoreline Cinema was the only cafe open, but they spotted me a coffee and cake for lunch before they caught the bus-replacing-trains to Wellington. Munchkin thought he was gonna get to wait at the station and watch trains and I ended up chatting to these ladies that had come up from Wellington and we're waiting for their ride, they gave me an ice cream bar because they had a box of them and they were going to melt.

One of the ladies worked with special needs kids so she was asking some q's about the boy and then she got embarrassed when she asked if I was pregnant with no. 2 and I was like, "no, I'm just fat." Anyway, after they left I tried to persuade the boy we needed to get a move on and it was a big tanty dragging him away from the platform.

Got home and I think the heat plus so much sweet food got to me as I felt kind of ill. Ended up dozing on the couch with a bowl nearby in case I puked. Drank water all afternoon and peed a lot, and was a bit gassy but didn't throw up. The boy was good and played in another room with his tablet until the battery died so I didn't have to exert much energy. Felt better by evening and have had a good dinner of leftovers.
xans: I wouldn't dream of killing you (BaalSam)
Apparently intro posts are the thing to be doing atm? So, hmmm... If you're new, just getting to know me, I guess I can make a post with the basics.

Hi, I'm Hana. I'm 33, married, with one kid and a cat. I've been online in various fandoms since I was 14.

Started out in geocities/yahoo chatrooms, making friends with other LotR fans and finding a geeky corner to hangout. Was one of the youngest there. One of the other teenage girls that frequented there introduced me to *NSYNC RPF fanfic, and that's where I started.

Read a lot of LotR fanfic on ff.net, stumbled across some slash sites that were both LotR & LotR RPF, the latter of which I was less into. Made friends on a LotR fan site/message board that transferred over to livejournal. Covered a few fandoms on lj, including Harry Potter, House, Bones, Firefly, Heroes, Constantine, and Stargate/Atlantis. Made friends with my love of the Vampire Chronicles, Dragonriders of Pern, also to some degree the Wheel of Time and *cringe* Sword of Truth.

Have wandered through a few others over the years on Ao3 & tumblr, such as Generation Kill, The Mummy, The Eagle/Eagle of the Ninth, The Fast & the Furious.

And of course there's the MCU. I'm sort of distanced myself from MCU a little bit (but not completely), mainly because I worry I'll have what happened with my love of HP: I consumed so much fic and spent so much time tearing the world apart that the canon no longer measured up (confession: I have never read Deathly Hallows. I fell out of love after HBP and never finished the series). I'm still hanging around the fringes and have a super soft spot for the Bucky/Logan rarepair.

I am, at heart, a multi-fandom multi-shipper, so while I have ships I love, I'm not necessarily locked down in an OTP.

A few other shows/movies I love that I don't tend to seek fic out are Killing Eve, Star Wars, Star Trek, Farscape, Babylon 5, Band of Brothers, and I could be here for hours if I started going through them all. I have dinner waiting, so I won't. This post is a good starting point, though, right?
xans: All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited power (Power)
I did think just to spite me, my period would arrive in the middle of commuting to the eye appointment. But no, I have started tonight, thank goodness.

My husband is home from work with a minor injury, so I don't have to stress about catching trains because he can drive us there. I mean, it sucks that he's in pain and needs to see the doctor (which is the thing that gives him major anxiety), but I'm relieved that it means I don't have to take the boy, alone, on a commuter train to a dreaded eye appointment.
xans: Sir, I think there's a problem with your brain being missing (Sam-Channels-Zoe)
The longer I have PMS symptoms without the appearance of my actual period, the more my anxiety spikes.

Added to that, I have an appointment for my son on Monday at 8:30 in the morning that is ~90 min commute between walking and train trip. Naturally, I'm paranoid I'm gonna oversleep, he's gonna sleep in, we're not going to get out the door on time and we'll miss it.

I cannot let it make me lose sleep though. Maybe if I make sure to set my alarm for, like, 6 am on the day I will have an hour to get us fed, dressed, and out the door, and he won't freak out at the change of routine...

But, ugh.

I know pms is making me a moody bitch, but the dropping of the A4 trailer and subsequent fan responses on my tumblr & twitter timelines is not filling me with excitement, either. Trying to keep the majority of my bitching in private though.
xans: Lego minifig woman with red hair in black robes with a green lightsaber. It has been stylized to look like it was drawn rather than photographed (Default)
In light of the tumblr fuckery, I may look at making my personal posts over here again as well. I'm not planning to leave there until their lights are out, but without a pillowfort or discord account, I'm looking at Twitter, ao3, and possibly even dreamwidth to keep my fandom stuff active.

So anyway, hi if you found me from posting my info on tumblr or the fandom spreadsheet.

Whoops

Jan. 31st, 2018 04:28 pm
xans: Sir, I think there's a problem with your brain being missing (Sam-Channels-Zoe)
My last post is from two years ago. Remember when I used to write almost every day? Then I let Twitter and tumblr take over my life. Anyway.

Have set up a community for a wee book discussion club. The Vampire Chronicles Book Club (Look at me, remembering my html).
xans: Lego minifig woman with red hair in black robes with a green lightsaber. It has been stylized to look like it was drawn rather than photographed (Sparrow-Come-Again)
Well this is a first. I'm actually online during a twitter outage. Or is it just me?
xans: Lego minifig woman with red hair in black robes with a green lightsaber. It has been stylized to look like it was drawn rather than photographed (Baal)
I posted these in a bit of a rush last night, I suppose I ought to add a header for fandom and stuff.

Title: 89. Through the Fire.
Fandom/Pairing: Stargate SG-1 | Sam Carter/Ba'al
Rating: G
Warnings/Notes: No warnings. Just a drabble ficlet written to a prompt over an baalsamgate.tumblr.com.

“Quickly! This way.”

“What? Are you insane?” Sam asked, aghast at her companion.

Ba’al turned to face her. One cheek was smudged with a mix of blood and dirt, his normally impeccable outfit was rumpled and showing signs of hard wear–which was no wonder, given when she found him, he was nearly being cornered by one of the groups of Ori troops unexpectedly encountered on this planet. Why she’d decided to help him, well, it didn’t matter since they were currently trapped between approaching troops and a wildfire.

“Colonel Carter, I assure you, I do not intend us to die here. We cannot return to the town. There is not enough time to repair my ship, which will be crawling with Ori forces. We must get to the gate, which is that way,” he pointed. Ba’al looked surprisingly genuine with his uses of ‘us’ and ‘we’.

“Which is also on fire,” Sam grated out, “and last I checked, not even Goa’uld are fireproof.”

His eyebrow quirked in brief acknowledgement of his species’ many boastful claims and his mouth opened, perhaps to deliver some cutting remark, before they both heard the telltale crunch of boots on the ground some distance behind them. Instinctively, they hunkered down in the hopes of delaying the inevitable.

Ba’al stared at her in earnest. “Colonel Carter–Sam–there is a way. Trust me.”

Sam couldn’t repress her snort of disbelief. “Trust you? Never. But if you’re certain–”

“I am.”

She closed her eyes as she bowed her head. Took a deep breath. Let it out. Opened her eyes and returned to looking at him. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

He pushed himself up from crouching before offering his hand to help her up. The naquadah in her blood had been tingling since moments before she’s realised her proximity to him, but it surged at contact with his hand. Sam went to pull her hand free once she had her balance, but he tightened his grip, seemingly unaware of the effect.

“When I say ‘run’, we must head directly for the gate,” he said, “run and do not stop for anything.”

Sam looked at the path ahead of them, flames licking across the ground and clinging to trees. “We’re not going to die,” she said uncertainly.

“We are not going to die,” he echoed. Sam wished she shared his confidence.

There was a shout behind them. “Run,” Ba’al ordered, and they were off like a shot, headed directly towards the flames.

Their boots pounded on the ground as they sprinted side by side. Sam felt the skin of her face flushing at the heat as they approached the trees engulfed in fire. Then they were surrounded on all sides, the path smoking beneath them, the crackle and pops of the trees overpowering any sounds of pursuit behind them.

Sam felt her eyes stinging and her airways clogging from the smoke, but she gritted her teeth and maintained her pacing next to Ba’al. She nearly gasped when there was an almighty crack and a tree fell across their path several meters ahead.

“Do. Not. Stop!” Ba’al growled.

She would not stop. She could not stop. Gathering themselves, the pair altered their steps in time to leap over the burning log, the flames swirling about their legs, the heat nearly intolerable before they were over, and carrying on down the path. The naquadah in her veins served to help her sense not only the Goa’uld beside her, but her proximity to the Stargate. It was less than 200 yards away.

It became visible at 100 yards. The flames started to die down to be replaced by smouldering stumps, opening out into the clearing where the gate stood, exposed and unguarded. They slowed to a stop at the base of the steps, next to the DHD. A quick once over to check Ba’al, Sam was astonished they’d actually made it, relatively unscathed. A slightly hysterical laugh burst out, before she was overcome by a coughing fit.

“Here,” he pressed a flask into her hands. Sam quickly unscrewed the cap, raising it to her lips, then pausing. She regarded it suspiciously, while trying to suppress the coughs. “It’s mint tea,” he clarified, rolling his eyes.

With a twinge of guilt, she quickly took a sip, and another to sooth her parched throat, before returning the flask. He slipped it back into a pocket once he’d had a sip. Refusing to apologise, Sam stepped over to the DHD, and started dialing the address to one of their “in-between” worlds. In seconds, the ring shifted, chevrons locked, and the familiar kawoosh of the wormhole engaging bathed them in rippling blue light.

Sam turned to face her unlikely ally. Taking a chance, she held out her hand to shake, the closest to a peace offering and apology she would give. “Well, not that it hasn’t been a ball of a time,” she said, smiling at his unimpressed face at a stupid pun, “but I don’t think you want to accompany me from here.”

“Indeed,” Ba’al intoned, as he took her hand, and surprising her, turned and brought it up to press his lips against her knuckles. “Until we meet again, Colonel Carter.”

She swallowed against the surge that coursed through her veins again at his touch, and the fire burning in his eyes as he looked at her. Slowly, Sam pulled back, and made her way to the event horizon. With one glance back to catch him checking out her ass, she made a rude gesture that had him laughing as she stepped through.

Until they met again, indeed.
xans: Sir, I think there's a problem with your brain being missing (Sam-Channels-Zoe)
Title: 60. Rejection.
Fandom/Pairing: Stargate SG-1 | Sam Carter/Ba'al
Rating: G
Warnings/Notes: No warnings. Just a drabble ficlet written to a prompt over an baalsamgate.tumblr.com.

Eyes narrowed, Ba’al studied the woman before him. Impudent Tau’ri. That she would dare to approach him, to suggest that he--

“No.”

Sam blinked, surprise and confusion crossing her face. “No? Ba’al, you can’t just--”

“I can and I will,” he interrupted, turning back to his work station, and attempted to resume the work she had interrupted. Ba’al frowned at the screen, still irritated, but struggled to ignore her standing there, staring at him. He sighed and turned to face her again.

Ba’al gestured at the manilla folder in her hands. “Sweetheart, you can tell the IOA where they can stick that proposal,” he said. His face softened as he gazed at her. “I’ll work with you, and no one else on this infernal planet. Those are my terms.”

Sam smiled and ducked her head. “You understand I had to ask,” she said.

He tilted his head in brief acknowledgment. “Your leadership lacks your intelligence.”

She huffed a laugh, then leaned in to give him a lingering kiss. “Well,” Sam said, “I guess I better find a diplomatic way to tell them you’re rejecting their offer.”

“If you must. It’s so much more entertaining when you tell them to go to hell.”

“Ba’al!”

Hi hi hi

Jul. 14th, 2015 06:26 pm
xans: All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited power (Power)
I know, I never really use this thing anymore since taking up facebook, twitter, and tumblr. And my f-list consists mostly of communities posting fic recs. But, if you're still around, or just dropping in to see what's up...

I turn 30 tomorrow.

Adult things I have done: shacked up with a guy, got a cat together, married said guy, had a beautiful baby together. Money's a little tight atm but otherwise life is good.

Adult things I haven't done: finished uni/got a degree, learned how to drive/got my license, had a paying job in several years. I really ought to work on the license thing and the job thing, and hopefully via the job thing, get some qualifications. It's a work in progress.

Anything else you wanna know about my life, if you're not up to date on things, drop me a comment and/or swap social media details and we can catch up.

Dichotomy

Apr. 21st, 2015 03:54 pm
xans: Lego minifig woman with red hair in black robes with a green lightsaber. It has been stylized to look like it was drawn rather than photographed (Baal)
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3014266/1/Dichotomy

A Sam/Baal fic not sure I've read.

Why yes, I'm still alive. I haven't updated here in ages except for a couple private for reference posts. Making this one public because what the hell.

Tumblr

Feb. 10th, 2014 06:42 pm
xans: Lego minifig woman with red hair in black robes with a green lightsaber. It has been stylized to look like it was drawn rather than photographed (RDJ-Twilight)
I set up a tumblr hxans.tumblr.com who knows how that will go
xans: Lego minifig woman with red hair in black robes with a green lightsaber. It has been stylized to look like it was drawn rather than photographed (Stormtrooper-Angst)
20 weeks today. Anatomy scan tomorrow. It's difficult to feel elated about it at all, because the owner of our house has decided to put it on the market.

When the landlady called saying that a real estate agent would be coming by to do a valuation, we got nervous. The owner told the landlady that he wasn't planning to put it on sale, just wanted to know its market worth. I started looking at rentals anyway. Then the owners came by with another real estate agent to do a second valuation a few days ago. And now it's going on the market. :(

We've been living at this place for four years. It's not perfect, but it suits us well. We don't want to move if we don't have to. But there's no guarantee that new owners would purchase this as an investment property, so we are looking more closely at what rentals are out there. The hard part is finding something that will store all our stuff and also accept that we come with a cat.

If we do move, it means Joe & Kayla will also have to find their own place. Of course, they're going to struggle because they don't want flatmates, but they may not have a choice. Joe also thinks they need a minimum 2 bedroom place for "all their stuff" but I think they could fit into a 1 bedroom. Although Kayla could use a place with a 2nd bedroom for her business (she does some massage stuff on the side).

Bloody inconvenient having to look at moving while 5 months pregnant. Also having to work out what of our stuff we can get rid of, so we don't have to shift it all over again. Gah!

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