A joke my mum sent me the other day...
Aug. 1st, 2006 02:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xansPurina Diet
I have a Golden retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
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*is easily amused*
For some reason I seem to like making a typo so that I spell my name JHana or HJana. Which... is weird, somewhat amusing, and I try not to read into just what my subconscious could be trying to tell me. I think it just likes making me type weird shit.
Is it just me or is everything lagging today? It's probably just me. Eh, bien. How's your day?
Fin.
I have a Golden retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
-----------------
*is easily amused*
For some reason I seem to like making a typo so that I spell my name JHana or HJana. Which... is weird, somewhat amusing, and I try not to read into just what my subconscious could be trying to tell me. I think it just likes making me type weird shit.
Is it just me or is everything lagging today? It's probably just me. Eh, bien. How's your day?
Fin.
