stupid exchange rate is so not in my favour

I am addicted to kissing. Like, crazily so.
Because I know you're all dying to know, no, alas and alack, I did not place in the wet t-shirt finals. But I still got free drinks (how many vodka cruisers was it now?), and I had a good time. It was cool that Liz was there too, although she was having a case of the nerves and despising her body. (I was tempted to hate mine, but figured I have no room to talk) It's not fat, it's skinniness bunched up! -one of Liz's friends when another was calling herself fat (she had even less room to talk than me).
Haha, my neck is kinda tender. Again.
And I've got a scratch on my back. It looks horrible, but it doesn't hurt, didn't hurt. I just caught my back on the bottom corner of a metal shelf when I was trying to get my bag without pushing too many people. Everyone's reaction to seeing it is so funny. I'm with Lynds on the awesomeness of war wounds from being out on the piss. The more unexplained bruises and cuts, the better. Who cares if it hurt or not? All in good fun!
I was so happy last night. Just carefree and feeling all good. It was beautiful.
(Stupid, stupid alcohol having to make me pee so much.)
I will get free stuff for being in the contest. The $200, $300, or $1000 would have kicked ass, but, eh bien, as Julien is wont to say. I'm not sure yet what said free stuff will be; the guy is supposed to text us later to say come pick up this or that. It'll be Woodstock Bourban gear or more bar tabs, I know that much.
I should be forbidden from talking when I've been drinking. Honestly. I don't think before I say anything. I can be tactless and I don't like thinking back and going, 'Shit, did I actually say that? *facepalm*' Being half-conscious probably doesn't help matters much either.
Thank the gods I had no 8:00 lecture this morning. I probably would have skipped it.

Fin.

My evil plan...

Evil Plan (tm)!

My objective is simple: to destroy the Earth.
My motive is a little bit more complex: hatred for all mankind

Stage One
To begin my plan, I must first assassinate Superman. This will cause the world to whisper among themselves, overwhelmed by my arrival. Who is this sadistic fiend? Where did she come from? And why does she look so good in battle armor?

Stage Two
Next, I must obliterate the Internet. This will all be done from a obsidian citadel, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will weep uncontrollably, as countless hordes of ninjas hasten to do my every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, I must let loose my armies of destruction, bringing about an unending cacophony of screams. My name shall become synonymous with slaughter, and no man will ever again dare cross me. Everyone will bow before my unbreakable will, and the world will have no choice but to make me their new god.

Fin.