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Mar. 20th, 2005 10:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xansWatched a weird movie last night. Shadow of a Vampire. It made me laugh. And think of Matt, because I'm pretty sure I've seen Matt make those expressions before, in those poses. In fact, I'm pretty sure he told me about the movie, on more than one occasion, and I just wasn't paying close attention.
*blinks* I wasn't sure if I'd spelt occasion right, so I did the spell check, and it seems to think 've' from I've and 'wasn' from wasn't are mispelled words. Weird.
Daylight Savings. Had to put my clocks back an hour. Nearly forgot. But didn't.
Talked with mum last night. She was being very persistent. She had this intuitive feeling that I wasn't sure about this whole vet thing. And the truth is, no matter what, I want to work with animals, but I'm not entirely sure it will be in the capacity of a vet. I'm just... I don't think I'm going to make it through selection. And I'm not the least bit worried about that. Because really, I've had that Plan B: zoologist thing in the background... and it's starting to sound a lot more intriguing.
Also, didn't mention this to mum, but I'm feeling remarkably friendless here. I mean, I talk with the girls, and get along with a few of the boys from Bindaloe, and say hi to a girl or two from other halls, but none of them really scream 'friend'. I sit alone more often than not at lectures, because the other girls in the vet program already seem to be paired up, or have other friends to hang out with. I share a lot of labs with the same people, but we don't seem to get lost in conversation, or the like, when we're not doing our work.
I feel rather disconnected from them, because we don't share the same interests. Hell, no one here really shares the whole 'evil is fun and cool' thing. Screw trying to talk VC with them. LoTR leads only to talk of lust (which, is nice, but rather superficial). I'm not even sure if they know what fanfictions are. The longest conversation I've had with anyone here was the first night when I talked with Giles until three in the morning. Or possibly on the shopping trips with Came, but she's almost always with Annalise. There's no one who's just come along to hang out with me in my room for a while, chatting or maybe watching TV. It gets very lonely sometimes.
A lot, actually.
Of course I wonder if they talk about me when I'm not around (I hope not). I wonder what it is that makes them (seem to be) so reserved around me. I always feel like I'm intruding on some conversation, that I'm missing the inside joke (let me in, cried the wolf).
They're into more chick flicks than I can stand, like different music, perve different guys for different reasons, hang out more, and generally seem more bonded. I suppose I could say something Elyshia, about how I feel alone, but I don't want to whine. I don't want them to include me out of pity.
Fin.
*blinks* I wasn't sure if I'd spelt occasion right, so I did the spell check, and it seems to think 've' from I've and 'wasn' from wasn't are mispelled words. Weird.
Daylight Savings. Had to put my clocks back an hour. Nearly forgot. But didn't.
Talked with mum last night. She was being very persistent. She had this intuitive feeling that I wasn't sure about this whole vet thing. And the truth is, no matter what, I want to work with animals, but I'm not entirely sure it will be in the capacity of a vet. I'm just... I don't think I'm going to make it through selection. And I'm not the least bit worried about that. Because really, I've had that Plan B: zoologist thing in the background... and it's starting to sound a lot more intriguing.
Also, didn't mention this to mum, but I'm feeling remarkably friendless here. I mean, I talk with the girls, and get along with a few of the boys from Bindaloe, and say hi to a girl or two from other halls, but none of them really scream 'friend'. I sit alone more often than not at lectures, because the other girls in the vet program already seem to be paired up, or have other friends to hang out with. I share a lot of labs with the same people, but we don't seem to get lost in conversation, or the like, when we're not doing our work.
I feel rather disconnected from them, because we don't share the same interests. Hell, no one here really shares the whole 'evil is fun and cool' thing. Screw trying to talk VC with them. LoTR leads only to talk of lust (which, is nice, but rather superficial). I'm not even sure if they know what fanfictions are. The longest conversation I've had with anyone here was the first night when I talked with Giles until three in the morning. Or possibly on the shopping trips with Came, but she's almost always with Annalise. There's no one who's just come along to hang out with me in my room for a while, chatting or maybe watching TV. It gets very lonely sometimes.
A lot, actually.
Of course I wonder if they talk about me when I'm not around (I hope not). I wonder what it is that makes them (seem to be) so reserved around me. I always feel like I'm intruding on some conversation, that I'm missing the inside joke (let me in, cried the wolf).
They're into more chick flicks than I can stand, like different music, perve different guys for different reasons, hang out more, and generally seem more bonded. I suppose I could say something Elyshia, about how I feel alone, but I don't want to whine. I don't want them to include me out of pity.
Fin.
